Full Credits

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38Funny
12Die
1,373
Views
November 21, 2016
Published
Description

Finally, a fair and balanced sketch for President-Elect, Trump. It's about time he got a chance to shine on the show he hosted a year ago.

SNL Spec Script for “Equal Time, Unbiased” Trump Sketch

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Cold Open:

Int. - Trump Tower

(audience applauds)

Trump: This transition is a big, big success. This cabinet is going to make America Great Again. Everything is going smoothly because I only pick the most popular members. Too bad I have to take a break to meet with that dork, Obama. (rolls eyes)

(Obama enters. Audience boos.)

Obama: Hello, Donald. I sure am a big dork! (Obama adjusts oversized glasses)

Trump: That’s right, you are a dork! This meeting is over! Now, get out of here and send in beloved, Vice President-Elect, Mike Pence!

Obama: Okey Dokey!

(Obama exits and as Mike Pence enters, Pence dumps Obama’s books all over the ground. Audience cheers.)

Trump: Good one, Mike!

Pence: Thank you, fair, just, and smart leader, Donald Trump. Might I add handsome to that list?

Trump: Stop it.

Pence: Oh no, more hate crimes? (chuckles wryly)

Trump: No, not that PC-hooey… (audience cheers). I meant you were making me blush with all those compliments. I am a modest man!

Pence: I will try to be more reserved! I knew you were blushing. I could tell despite your deep, natural tan. Which is not orange at all.

Trump: (begins rubbing hands together and smiling big league so the audience knows a huge joke is coming) So Mike, see any good plays lately?

Pence: Let me think about that for a second… (looks into camera) NOOOOOPE. Just a real STINKER called Hamilton.

(Trump joins Pence in addressing the camera)

Trump and Pence: AND LIVE FROM NEW YORK! IT’S SATURDAY NIGHTTTTTTT

(Opening credits, but only featuring the white cast members.)

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