While on a tour of Alaska in an effort to bring attention to U.S. climate change policy, President Barack Obama used a selfie stick to take pictures of himself in the Alaskan wilderness. Why is Obama using a selfie stick when he is followed by press photographers or could presumably ask a staffer to take his picture? This letter that Obama sent to his daughters Malia and Sasha reveals why — he wants for them to think he’s a cool dad.
Dear Malia and Sasha,
As you know, I have recently been on a business trip to Alaska to push forward my climate-change policy. The folks here are nice. I met some bears and a guy named Bear. I caught a salmon with my bare hands, and that salmon sprayed semen on my shoes. I pity the White House intern who had to deal with that mess!
But the highlight of my trip was that I got to use a selfie stick. I am writing you to let you know that I am a cool dad, and I am hip to the technologies of today.
Now, let me be clear. I know you two don’t often think of me as a cool guy. I embarrassed you at the turkey pardoning last year. I still use a BlackBerry, or as Malia calls it, my “dinosaur.” I wear dad jeans. Let’s face it, I wear dad everything. You girls would have a field day making fun of this jacket I’m wearing if you were here in Alaska. But I feel like something has shifted with my use of this selfie stick.
Today, I became the first American president to use a selfie stick. Together, the good folks of Alaska and I made history. I think that’s pretty great for the American people, and it’s also pretty great for me, because it shows both of you that I am cool.
Before I used a selfie stick, I asked my staff to brief me on the implications of using one. From that, I learned that a lot of folks don’t like selfie sticks. They have a tendency to poke people in the face. They reinforce our narcissistic culture. Make no mistake, I took these issues into deep consideration, as it seems that selfie sticks are a bipartisan issue.
But, look, the notion that selfie sticks are bad is wrong. They serve a purpose: to take a picture of yourself when your arm isn’t long enough and no one else will take the picture for you. How else would I get myself and all this Alaskan wildlife into one photo? Sure, I could have just asked the press for a copy of a photo or one of my hundred of staffers to take a photo. But it wouldn’t be the same. The photo would be too professional, when I wanted something authentic. It’s plain common sense.
Moving forward, I will be transitioning to using more selfie sticks. It’s the right thing to do. When your mom and I go out to a fancy dinner and Broadway show on our one night out a year, you can bet that I’ll be sending you two a text with a photo that I took using a selfie stick. When we all go on family vacation to Hawaii next summer, I will snap a pic using my selfie stick while we’re out on a boat. Malia, you can even post that pic on Instagram if you like, with #prezselfiestick or #obamaselfiestick or some other cool hashtag.
Amaaaazing grace. How sweet the sound. That saved a wretch like meeeeee …
Your extremely cool, hip, technology-savvy dad
P.S. So do you guys think I’m cool now?