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November 09, 2015

Hot women are awesome! They’re fellow humans who happen to be great to look at. Below is a guide to asking a hot woman out on a date, but in a cool way.

Hot women are awesome! They’re fellow humans who happen to be great to look at. And most of them are nice! As you grow up from being a small boy and start to become a full-grown man, you’ll sometimes get the urge to ask one out on a date so that you can get to know her and maybe kiss. Or more.

But asking a hot woman out on a date is difficult and nerve wracking, which is what makes it such a trying rite of passage into manhood. And asking her to go on the date in a way that doesn’t make you look like a total freak and loser? That’s even tougher.

Below is a guide to asking a hot woman out on a date, but in a cool way.

1. Find a hot woman.
Best places to look for hot women: coffee shops (cool ones), beaches that are expensive to get access to, and stores that sell only tight dresses. If you hang around these places long enough, you are bound to see a hot woman who you definitely are gonna want to ask out on a date.

While you’re scouting for hot women, though, be sure to not be obvious about it. That is not cool. Make sure you’re doing something else as well, like Skyping with your old little league baseball coach or something weird and distractingly specific like that. This way no one will accuse you of going to a tight dress store just to ogle the ladies, you’re there for the Wi-Fi!

2. Develop a crush.
This, I can tell you, is the easiest step of all. Simply get one glimpse of the way she crinkles her nose in that adorable way when she laughs but she’s kind of embarrassed by it but that makes it EVEN CUTER and it just makes your heart full of love and hope and also makes you super horny, and you’ll be smitten in no time!

The key to staying cool while developing your crush is to never ever mention it to anyone and throw people off the scent by randomly dropping hints that the woman is bad at her career.

3. Smell good.
Did you know that 95% of women are more attracted by a man’s smell than by expensive haircuts or big strong hands? And what smells better than your natural scent? Cologne!

Here’s a good strategy: Make sure that every time you see the hot woman that you want to ask out, you have a little more cologne on than the last time you were near her. She will feel closer and closer to you with every encounter all while you’re acting as cool and aloof as James Bond or some other guy who gets laid by hot chicks all the time.

4. Yell at a wall.
As you get ready to ask her out, you’ll have nervous energy shooting out your ears, so this is a good time to find a private room and yell at the wall. Just shout everything that comes into your mind, which will mostly be phrases like “I suck,” and “I’m a piece of shit I don’t deserve her I don’t deserve happiness” and “Oh yeah sure, she’s really gonna wanna have sex with this (takes off shirt and inspects disgusting body with disgust)” and, if a mirror is a available, “You fucking idiot!”

It’s completely cool to get all your deepest fears and frustrations out as long as no one ever finds out about it.

5. Get in there.
Walk up to the hot woman confidently and say the following, word for word: “Hi. How are you? Would you like to go on a big time date with me?”

Asking a gal out on a date happens every day, but dollars to doughnuts this woman has never been asked on a “big time” date. And that makes all the difference. Doing things “big time,” “all out,” and “epic” is what being cool is all about.

6. Be hot yourself.
This goes without saying but don’t even THINK about asking a hot woman out without also being hot yourself. If you’re not sure whether you’re hot or not, this website will clear things up for you.

You not only asked a hot woman out on a date, but you did it in a cool way, which will at least double your chances of getting to know her better and maybe even kissing her. Or more.