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Published September 16, 2010 More Info »
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Published September 16, 2010
I just realized that OJ Simpson was chased in a white Bronco.  Why in the hell did OJ own a Bronco*?  He is one of the best football players of all time plus he was in movies/commercials and he decided on a 4wd Bronco?  I don't even think it was new at the time, maybe an 87'.  My Aunt Nancy drove a Bronco and she worked nights at a bakery.

Who does the voice mail voice think they are?  First of all, after you leave your greeting on your voice mail, that fucking voice comes on and reiterates exactly what you just said but instructs the caller to hit pound (which you don't have to do anyway, liar) after they leave you a message.  Second of all, i don't need to be told how to leave someone a message, i had plenty of practice in the 80's and completely mastered the process in the 90's with a little gadget called the answering machine.  

Does anyone even leave voice mails anymore?  My favorite voice mails are when people tell you to call them back.  Is that even a message?  You wouldn't write someone a letter that only said, "Hey man, write me back. later."  My dad leaves the best voice mails of all though.  He hasn't quite grasped the concept and during his message he'll say things like, "pick up if you're home.  Pick up, Pick up.  No?  I guess you're not home then."  

Can you imagine if you had caller ID in the eighties?  You would be considered a Prophet.  Instead, you had to answer the phone the same way every time it rang.  You had you're own style that you answered the phone and it was always the same.  Now you have separate greetings for different callers.  I can go anywhere from, "What's up muthafucka?!?" when i'm excited to talk to or just a "hey" if i want to set the tone that i want to get off the phone quickly, all depending on who's calling.  

*OJ did to white Broncos what Hitler did to short mustaches.  
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