Sometimes we here at NSTV get bored, like... really, really bored. As a result of this utter boredom, we have what can only be classified as amazing AIM conversations. These random conversations tend to cover a variety of subjects. This week subject is all improv, enjoy. (CTM = Chuckling to Myself)
Nate (9:16:45 PM): Here, I am going to the gym
Sean (9:17:16 PM): ...It's like youre a tired mommy that had a rough day with the kids and I just got home from work
Sean (9:17:24 PM): and you're shoving them into my arms so you can go to the spa
Nate (9:17:27 PM): ctm, pretty much
Nate (9:17:40 PM): I just need a night out with the girls
Nate (9:17:44 PM): I only ask for one night a week!
Sean (9:17:58 PM): Yeah well I'd like one night a week too, Natalie!
Sean (9:18:04 PM): Go out with the guys
Sean (9:18:07 PM): drink some brews
Sean (9:18:09 PM): but NO!
Sean (9:18:15 PM): I work my ass off
Sean (9:18:18 PM): come home to you
Nate (9:18:18 PM): oh give me a break Zach
Sean (9:18:23 PM): bitching and moaning
Nate (9:18:23 PM): working late on Wednesday?
Nate (9:18:27 PM): I know you went to the bar!
Sean (9:18:34 PM): ... No I didnt..
Nate (9:18:47 PM): Uhh yes, you went with Bruce, his wife called and told me all about it!
Sean (9:19:03 PM): SHe's a dirty hooker that was probably drunk herself, Natalie!
Sean (9:19:06 PM): I was with a client
Nate (9:19:08 PM): plus I smelled the alcohol and cheap hooker perfume on you when you came home
Sean (9:19:08 PM): ask bruce himself
Nate (9:19:21 PM): a "client" who you fucked Zach??
Sean (9:19:39 PM): ... I didn't 'fuck' her.
Sean (9:19:50 PM): I simply sold our product
Sean (9:19:54 PM): and sold it damn well
Sean (9:20:08 PM): which is why I'm the number one refrigerator sales men in the tri-state area!
Nate (9:20:08 PM): Ive never liked Bruce and how you guys act when you are together!
Nate (9:20:23 PM): sold your product?? I am sick and tired of these damn innuendos
Nate (9:20:49 PM): Our kids need their dad. Ophelia and little Raul need their father!
Sean (9:21:15 PM): Yeah, well you know what they ask'd me the other day?
Sean (9:21:29 PM): Daddy, why is mommy always eating so many 'vitamins'
Sean (9:21:33 PM): VITAMINS NATALIE?!
Nate (9:21:35 PM): why their dad kisses women besides mommy?
Nate (9:21:50 PM): YES!! you know I have a Calcium deficiency
Nate (9:22:01 PM): and I have a doctors written prescription for those pills
Sean (9:22:17 PM): Don't even bring Doctor Hector into this!
Nate (9:22:35 PM): I will bring Dr. Hector into whatever situation I want!
Sean (9:22:42 PM): Yeah, like YOUR SITUATION
Sean (9:22:49 PM): you dirty pill popping whore!
Nate (9:22:51 PM): Considering you were fine bringing him into our bedroom that one night!
Sean (9:23:01 PM): ONE NIGHT, NATALIE! ONE NIGHT
Nate (9:23:02 PM): you even let him go down on your for a second
Sean (9:23:08 PM): I was high on fuckin peyotie!
Nate (9:23:25 PM): yeah, because of god danm Bruce again!!
Sean (9:23:38 PM): OH so now we've come full circle
Sean (9:23:47 PM): Always turning it around on my friends
Sean (9:23:50 PM): what about YOUR friends
Sean (9:24:20 PM): Antoinette and Sierra
Nate (9:24:22 PM): excuse me?
Sean (9:24:24 PM): fucking skanks
Sean (9:24:26 PM): thats right
Nate (9:24:33 PM): Sierra and I go all the way back to junior fuckin high Zach!!
Sean (9:25:05 PM): Yeah, every monday you two go ALL THE WAY BACK TO JUNIOR HIGH and pick up on the 8th grade football team
Sean (9:25:11 PM): You dirty sluts
Nate (9:25:29 PM): have you seen the 8th graders recently??
Nate (9:25:32 PM): they look 20!
Sean (9:25:35 PM): I am your husband! I am the man of this house!
Nate (9:26:12 PM): barely
Nate (9:26:24 PM): I am a woman Zach, I have needs to
Nate (9:26:29 PM): I wanna be fucked hard!!
Nate (9:26:35 PM): but you are never "in the mood"
Sean (9:26:51 PM): Well maybe if you worked out every once in awhile
Sean (9:26:58 PM): Tonned up a bit
Nate (9:27:11 PM): I slave away all day at the house, with the kids and chores, I dont have the time
Nate (9:27:19 PM): and you promised to love me NO MATTER WHAT!
Sean (9:27:56 PM): Yeah, I didn't know that 'no matter what' included 20 extra pounds of lard, and 20 inches to the width of the vagina!
Sean (9:28:07 PM): I got with you because you had a kung fu grip vagina!
Sean (9:28:10 PM): That shit was bangin!
Nate (9:28:47 PM): well how did I know that the penis pump you bought would not only take an inch OFF the length of your penis, but would add 3 inches of girth!
Nate (9:29:00 PM): my god Zach, your dick looks like a tuna can
Sean (9:29:09 PM): PENIS OF THE SEA BABY
Sean (9:29:14 PM): PENIS OF THE MOTHER FUCKING SEA!
Nate (9:30:09 PM): yeah, well im sure your little hookers enjoy it
Nate (9:30:25 PM): Im going to stick with a real man, Dr. Hector
Sean (9:30:35 PM): Oh, so now my clients are hookers?! The clients that helped feed your little pill popping ways?
Sean (9:30:36 PM): FINE
Sean (9:30:51 PM): GO TO DOCTOR HECTOR WITH HIS SHRIVELED AND INFERIOR OLD WRINKLY PENIS
Sean (9:31:07 PM): and his ball sack that slaps his ankles when he runs!
Nate (9:31:13 PM): well you may be selling to them, but you are also fucking them . . . UP THE ASS!
Sean (9:31:58 PM): Yeah, metaphorically! Every one knows our card board refigerators are flawed in every way!
Nate (9:32:12 PM): flawed like your dick Zach!
Sean (9:32:47 PM): Kids, go to bed. .... I SAID GO TO BED!!!! Daddy has to bitch slap the FUCK out of your whore mom.
Nate (9:33:30 PM): excuse me?? Raul, Ophelia and I dont have to put up with this bullshit, we are going to pack our things and go to my mom's . . . with a quick stop at the gym on the way there
Sean (9:34:10 PM): ctm, I'll make sure to finish giving it to your mom... HARD... before you get there.
Nate (9:34:43 PM): Well little do you know that the women you think is my mom, is actually my 3rd grade teacher, and she has AIDS
Nate (9:34:50 PM): my real mom lives in South Carolina
Sean (9:34:58 PM): WHAT?!
Sean (9:35:06 PM): All these years...
Nate (9:35:08 PM): thats right, hope you were using a condom buddy boy
Sean (9:35:25 PM): Why would I use a condom when she lets me stick it in her ass, natalie?!
Sean (9:35:28 PM): Jesus christ.
Nate (9:36:00 PM): i would suggest getting yourself down to the free clinic Mr. Oh, and you can expect a heaping pile of divorce papers on your desk in the morning
Nate (9:36:15 PM): they should be easy for you to find, right under your secretary's ass after you finish banging her on your desk
Sean (9:36:33 PM): Yeah, that's my fucking morning routine.
Nate (9:37:11 PM): I know, ive seen on the surveillance camera I had our gardner Manual install in your office
Nate (9:37:23 PM): and by the way, little Raul isnt even your son, he is Manual's
Nate (9:37:25 PM): he is a tender lover!
Sean (9:38:09 PM): I thought I heard some Guadalupan serenading that night!
Nate (9:38:22 PM): He is not Guadalupan, he is from Honduras!!
Sean (9:38:28 PM): FUCK HONDURAS!
Nate (9:38:39 PM): and FUCK you Zach!
Nate (9:38:42 PM): . . .
Nate (9:38:42 PM): . . .
Nate (9:38:45 PM): *SLAM*
Nate (9:38:52 PM): . . . and scene!
Sean (9:39:03 PM): (head nod)
Sean (9:39:05 PM): HOLLER!
Nate (9:39:15 PM): Wha-BAM!