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Published April 16, 2011 More Info »
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Published April 16, 2011
The title of today's work is: THE AMERICAN REVOLUTION. I wrote this play very late at night, and with the benefit of not having studied (or listened) in any of the history classes I ever attended.[OPEN: George Washington's house in Denver. George is sanding his wooden teeth. Paul Revere enters.]PAUL: Hello, George Washington!GEORGE: You are a silversmith.PAUL: I have heard that the British are coming.GEORGE: That's disgusting. Hang on, let me finish posing for the one-dollar bill.PAUL: And the quarter! Where is Benjamin Franklin?GEORGE: He is outside finding electricity with a kite and key. Tell him to invent bifocals and the stove.PAUL: Okay.[Suddenly, Abraham Lincoln enters.]ABE: Four score and...GEORGE: Too early, Abe!ABE: Sorry. [Abraham Lincoln exits.]PAUL: Where were we?GEORGE: I will ask Magna Carta to write the Declaration of Independence and The Constitution.PAUL: We, the people![Thomas Jefferson (creator of 'The Jeffersons') enters.]THOMAS: Anyone want some French Fries and popcorn?PAUL: No, thank you. I am too full from liberty.GEORGE: I cannot tell a lie. I am hungry.THOMAS: Stuck a feather in his hat and called it, macaroni and cheese!GEORGE: I will be right back. I must throw this silver dollar across the Potomac.PAUL: I am a silversmith.[Abraham Lincoln re-enters.]ABE: Hooray for 1776!GEORGE, PAUL & THOMAS: Oh, Abe![CURTAIN]