The title of today's work is: THE AMERICAN REVOLUTION. I wrote this play very late at night, and with the benefit of not having studied (or listened) in any of the history classes I ever attended.
[OPEN: George Washington's house in Denver. George is sanding his wooden teeth. Paul Revere enters.]
PAUL: Hello, George Washington!
GEORGE: You are a silversmith.
PAUL: I have heard that the British are coming.
GEORGE: That's disgusting. Hang on, let me finish posing for the one-dollar bill.
PAUL: And the quarter! Where is Benjamin Franklin?
GEORGE: He is outside finding electricity with a kite and key. Tell him to invent bifocals and the stove.
[Suddenly, Abraham Lincoln enters.]
ABE: Four score and...
GEORGE: Too early, Abe!
[Abraham Lincoln exits.]
PAUL: Where were we?
GEORGE: I will ask Magna Carta to write the Declaration of Independence and The Constitution.
PAUL: We, the people!
[Thomas Jefferson (creator of 'The Jeffersons') enters.]
THOMAS: Anyone want some French Fries and popcorn?
PAUL: No, thank you. I am too full from liberty.
GEORGE: I cannot tell a lie. I am hungry.
THOMAS: Stuck a feather in his hat and called it, macaroni and cheese!
GEORGE: I will be right back. I must throw this silver dollar across the Potomac.
PAUL: I am a silversmith.
[Abraham Lincoln re-enters.]
ABE: Hooray for 1776!
GEORGE, PAUL & THOMAS: Oh, Abe!