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Published April 16, 2011 More Info »
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Published April 16, 2011
The title of today's work is: THE AMERICAN REVOLUTION. I wrote this play very late at night, and with the benefit of not having studied (or listened) in any of the history classes I ever attended.

[OPEN: George Washington's house in Denver. George is sanding his wooden teeth. Paul Revere enters.]

PAUL: Hello, George Washington!

GEORGE: You are a silversmith.

PAUL: I have heard that the British are coming.

GEORGE: That's disgusting. Hang on, let me finish posing for the one-dollar bill.

PAUL: And the quarter! Where is Benjamin Franklin?

GEORGE: He is outside finding electricity with a kite and key. Tell him to invent bifocals and the stove.

PAUL: Okay.

[Suddenly, Abraham Lincoln enters.]

ABE: Four score and...

GEORGE: Too early, Abe!

ABE: Sorry. 

[Abraham Lincoln exits.]

PAUL: Where were we?

GEORGE: I will ask Magna Carta to write the Declaration of Independence and The Constitution.

PAUL: We, the people!

[Thomas Jefferson (creator of 'The Jeffersons') enters.]

THOMAS: Anyone want some French Fries and popcorn?

PAUL: No, thank you. I am too full from liberty.

GEORGE: I cannot tell a lie. I am hungry.

THOMAS: Stuck a feather in his hat and called it, macaroni and cheese!

GEORGE: I will be right back. I must throw this silver dollar across the Potomac.

PAUL: I am a silversmith.

[Abraham Lincoln re-enters.]

ABE: Hooray for 1776!

GEORGE, PAUL & THOMAS: Oh, Abe!

[CURTAIN]
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