Mates Vs Presents: Top 5 Most Common Misconceptions about Australia

1. Everyone is carrying a knife - What is this, 1998 still? We all have guns now.

2. We sleep in hammocks - False. We sleep in our mothers' pouches until the age of eight. Then, if we succeed in killing a wild dingo in the maturation ceremony, we can sleep on the dirt.

3. We have koalas as pets - Do you realize how expensive it would be to keep a fresh supply of eucalyptus in the house? And FYI, if they felt half as good about their own kind as they do about your legs, they wouldn't have those population problems.

4. We can't see color - OK. This one is somewhat true. That's actually why we have no Air Force to speak of.

5. Everything is just like The Piano - That was New Zealand, idiots. Everything is like Mad Max.