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August 26, 2008
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Wedding Announcements

Jim McPartland

www.funnyordie.com/jbmcpart

 

Anthony-Gerhartsreiter (aka Clark Rockefeller)

anthony.jpgClark and Casey Sittin in a Tree- K-i-s-s-i-n-gWoody Allen and his new actress/lover

 

Orlando, Fl. / Boston., MA (AP Wire) - The upcoming marriage of Casey Anthony and Christian Karl Gerhartsreiter (AKA Clark Rockefeller) was recently announced.

 

Anthony, currently holed up at her parents’ house pending a hearing on charges stemming from her missing daughter Caylee, received her Master’s Degree in Spinning Tall Tales from BS University.

 

Gerhartsreiter, a resident of Boston’s penal system, has been a stock trader with an unsubstantiated life prior to 1993. He says he ‘can’t really remember’. Since then, he has called himself Clark Rockefeller, not to be confused with the rich U.S. family- although he says ‘I might be’ related.

 

Mr. Rockefeller (circa ’93) has a 7 year old daughter that he thought would be better off with him vs. his estranged, Harvard Business School ex-wife. He whisked her off from a Boston street, knocking over a DCF worker in the process. That led to an intensive FBI search.

 

His full history prior ’93 is being researched. He’s considered a suspect in a missing persons file in ’90 of a couple in California while he was a renter. He has also lived in Berlin CT., Greenwich, CT., and NYC. His former landlords in CA, John and Linda Sohus, wish him the best. They’ve been missing since ’85.

 

It is not known where Mr. G/R has made his fortune. It is known he bought a home in the Baltimore area for $4ook in cash to live with his kidnapped daughter and was caught.

 

He likes reading to his daughter, claiming to have her into the Wall Street Journal at 3. As he was smart enough to dupe a Harvard grad, the families believe this is a match made in heaven and a new reality TV show is in the works. Tentatively tilted “Don’t You Believe Me?” the FOX production will follow the couple on their happy-go-lucky escapades of deceit, chicanery, and frivolous fibs.

 

A February wedding is planned. It will be held over the internet as one, if not both, will be incarcerated in their own state. Conjugal visits are still being negotiated.

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