Full Credits

Stats & Data

168Funny
110Die
23,090
Views
November 20, 2016
Published
Description

Don't freak out: Trump's not a bigot, he's a liar!

Donald Trump has said a lot of bigoted things—like calling Mexicans rapists to saying he’d create a registry for all muslims to blaming black people for all crime. But take heart: Trump doesn’t meant those things he said. He’s not a huge bigot, he’s just a huge liar…so that’s better, right?

Sure, there’s been an uptick in hate crimes since Donald Trump was elected president. But those hate crimes are isolated incidents only spurred by the words Trump says. The words aren’t the hate crimes, the words are what cause the hate crimes.

We can all agree openly hateful language coming from the leader of the free world would be deeply disturbing. But before we go down a hand-wringing rabbit hole thinking about all the bad things Donald Trump has said and done about what he’s going to say and do, ask yourself: does he mean what he says? And the answer is clear except when it isn’t: probably not.

That’s the best we can do, because sometimes it’s hard to nail down whether a liar says what they say because they mean it or for some other weird reason or because they mean it but then want everyone to think they didn’t mean it. That’s the thing about liars: they turn on a dime. Unlike bigots, who are set in their ways. But at least you know where a bigot stands. Whereas with a liar you never know where you stand. And that’s comforting.

A state of nebulous confusion beats the certainty of vitriolic hatred, though…right? Yes it does. It does because it has to. Because this is where we are now, so we need to find some way to stand up for what is right. And the right thing to do right now is to stand up and say the bigot isn’t a bigot—the bigot is a liar. And a liar is no type of bigot. Unless the liar is lying about the fact that they’re going to stop being such a bigot. And yes, the bigot has started to put people into positions of power, but that doesn’t prove anything, because this could all just be one big trick.

And, I for one, love tricks. Tricks are fun when magicians do them at bar mitzvahs, which we may not have in a few short months. So don’t think of Trump as our Bigot in Chief–think of him as our Magician in Chief! A sorcerer who never reveals his hand! Like Rasputin!

You know what the old expression, “A bigot in the streets, a moderate small-government Republican in the sheets, but only with someone of the opposite sex in the institution of marriage with the intention of procreating because MIKE PENCE IS WATCHING.”

Advertisement
Advertisement