Impress Your Friends, Family, and Be Featured On The National News Networks!
Yes friends it's true! Tired of not being all you could be? Sick of being stuck in your I am a nobody life? Seeking new avenues of being rich or famous, possibly both? Want to impress neighbors, friends, local news anchors, that girl down at the gentelmans club? Well friend you've come to the right place!! For a limited time only my Finding Big Foot For Fame and Riches Kit is being offered for the paltry sum of $1999.99 (plus shipping and handling charges, note no-longer available in Georgia). Yes accept no substitute friend. This is the real deal!! My high quality Finding Big Foot For Fame and Riches Kit is the best on the market today! Don't settle for inferior kits offered at higher prices. My high quality kit comes with all the essential items and instructions. Don't delay as these kits are only available for a limited time! Demand has never been higher. We expect to sell out shortly! The extensive procurement process needed to assemble your customized kit could delay shipment by weeks! If you fail to act today!
Every tiny little thing needed for becoming rich and famous by finding Sasquatch has been pain-stakingly researched and included! Other Finding Sasquatch kits sell for much more and contain less. Our super elite team of mystery shoppers even discovered one such kit selling for twice the price! Guess what all it contained was a sasquatch suit of an inferior type. My Finding Big Foot For Fame And Riches Kit is simply the best sasquatch kit available today! Bar none!!!
Look at all you'll recieve with this carefully thought out Finding Big Foot For Fame And Riches Kit!!!! 1) High quality Big Foot costume(see above picture) 2) barely used Chest style deep freezer 3) Customized map of an area within 50 miles of your home where a big foot might be hiding 4) Sample forms of a press release(just fill in the blanks) 5) Web-site address's of famous sasquatch hunters (to let them in on your discovery right??) 6) Disposable Camera with flash (don't be fooled by inferior kits that include a non flash type camera) 7) Well thought out and intelligent responses for those pesky news people 8) Instructions on how you can attract a stupid co-conspirator(a must have if you need someone to blame) 9) At least 6 yes I said 6 reasons you were in the area where you stumbled upon Sasquatch 10) A detailed instruction book on how to effectively use your barely used chest style deep freezer(things like where to plug it in, how much water should be used to make your Sasquatch look real but dead) 11) Future discounted price on upcoming products like Finding The Lochness Monster For Fame And Riches Kit-orThe Finding Unicorns For Fame And Fortune-or the ever popular I recieved a message from God In My Alphabet Soup For Fame And Fortune Kit. 12) A list of 100 ways to profit from your dicovery including a marketing guide for selling on ebay.
Just listen to what others are saying:Bob from Bucksnort, Tn. writes- Before buying Hootnhowells high quality Finding Big Foot For Fame And Riches Kit I struggled with my identity. Now after recieving my kit which only took 5 weeks to arrive. I have gained the attention of almost everybody in town. My girlfriend looks at me differently as does the local law enforcement. I have to admit I had a little trouble understanding the guide on how to attract friends dumber than me. But Mr. Hootnhowell after only 6 unanswered phone calls explained it in great detail. Thanks Mr. Hootnhowell my picture is already up at the Post Office!!!
Bill From Toad Lick, Ar. writes: I was skeptical at first. But after recieving my detailed map of an area where big foot could be found. I knew I had a winner. Mr. Hootnhowell included a map of Arkansas and pointed out that big foot could be anywhere in this state. I complained that the barely used chest style deep freeze would not match my car up on blocks yard motiff. Mr. Hootnhowell generously provided 3 cans of high quality spray paint. He's a problem solver that one!! Thanks Mr. Hootnhowell I owe you Big Time-or should I say big-foot???
Chuck from Wala Wala, Wa. wrote: I found great value in your Finding Big Foot For Fame And Fortune kit. I've tried several other sasquatch kits in the past all to no avail. When I recieved my kit ingeniously all encapsulated in my barely used chest style freezer. I marveled at how well thought out your plan was. I am currently stuck in a dead end management training program for a fried ice cream franchise. I don't have to tell you how frustrating that can be! People always complaining their Ice creams melted, Their Ice creams under-cooked, etc. etc. I was going bonkers. Today I recieved my kit. What hope you have inspired!! I have your map with the red arrow showing me an area where big foot could be lurking. I have your press release forms filled out. With your help I have secured a dumber than me friend. I have next Tues. off from work. By a week from next Tues. I should be reconized as the foremost Big Foot expert in my area. No easy task as this area has lots of So called Sasquatch experts. Thanks Mr. Hootnhowell I was literally at my wits end. I first contemplated your Committing Suicide Course For Fame And Fortune Kit mostly for the price difference. Boy am I glad I spent the extra $100 what a great bargain!!!
So rather than bore you with more of the 1000's of great testimonials. Let me just conclude by saying. This is a special kit bargained priced to sell fast. Don't delay! You can order today and be the first in your area to discover the elusive Big Foot! Order before midnight tonight and I'll include my 30 page booklet How to Be The Bell Of The Ball In Prison Guide which normally sells for $75 alone. I'll even throw in the photo spread I have My Prison Issued Orange Jump Suit How Should I Accessorize? which gives you visual clues on what the best dressed prisoners are wearing this year. A perfect compliment to my Finding Big Foot For Fame And Riches Kit!!! Remember operators are standing by place your order today at http://www.hootnhowell.blogspot.com/ or just leave a comment in the comment section below!