or
0 Funny Votes
0 Die Votes
203 Views
Published March 06, 2008

so i finally decide to do something productive with my time and restock/inventory wine glasses, but the universe had more entertaining plans. we just got a shipment of pinot noir glasses (for anyone clueless as to what that means, don't worry, it doesn't matter...it should NEVER matter, knowing what a pinot noir glass is just kicks some useful information from you brain. if i told you, you'd forget your address or something) and half of the glasses in every box were broken. not every box SOUNDED like it has broken glass in it, but since most of the did, i had to check them all, very carefully, because of the broken glass. (and ALL of them were half broken). but the first box i cam across that did NOT sound like cheap wind-chimes i just break open and pull the filling out, and the filling bit me.'bout 3/4 of an inch puncture wound right into the tip of my left index finger. makes it very difficult to type. blood is all over the keyboard, mixed with my pathetic un-manly tears. but i still had to take care of the situation. so i put the glasses back in their boxes (yes, i did bleed on them, and yes i left the stains) and call my customer service rep. i knew he wouldn't answer so i left him this message

MIKE, IT'S TWON, I NEED YOUR HELP. THE PINOT GLASSES YOU SENT ME HAVE GONE EVIL. THEY BROKE THEMSELVES IN THE BOXES SO WHEN I OPENED THEM UP TO CHECK THEY ATTACKED. I'VE LOCKED MYSELF IN THE HUMIDOR FOR PROTECTION, BUT IF THE GLASS WINDOW IN THE DOOR TURNS AGAINST ME TOO I'M DONE FOR. YOU NEED TO SEND A TEAM IN TO ELIMINATE THESE DEVIANT GLASSES AND REPLACE THEM WITH SOMETHING MORE DOCILE. OH, GOD THEY'RE COMING THROUGH, SEND HELP NOW!

i wonder what he'll say to that?

Advertisement
Advertisement

From Around the Web