After being insultingly “bumped” by Monday Night Football, Donald Trump decided to bury his The Art Of The Deal movie and, in doing so, also shelved all sorts of associated media products and spin-offs. We were able to get our hands on a few of them thanks to a deal Funny Or Die cut with one of Trump’s former lawyers (look forward to Silverstein Stares At Upton, a web series coming in the fall to Funny Or Die dot com.
THE ART OF THE DEAL: THE MOVIE: THE VHS
Before Trump ended all distribution deals, he had prepped millions of VHS copies of the movie to be sold in the lobby of all his properties and in homeless shelters worldwide. Unlike most hard clam-shell VHS covers from the era, Trump insisted that each of these was made out of 100% pure fool’s gold.
THE ART OF THE DEAL: THE VIDEO GAME
Donald Trump also created a video game based on The Art Of The Deal to accompany his movie and book. At the time, Trump proudly claimed that the game was programmed and designed by himself and “the best people in the business.” It was later revealed he stole most of the code from the flop Atari 2600 game E.T.: The Extra Terrestrial and the rest was programmed by a former Activision employee who had been fired for addiction issues. Trump convinced him to leave a rehab facility with the promise of “unlimited crack.”
In the game, players controlled Trump from a top-down perspective as he navigated a series of deals including the buying and selling of houses, casinos, and “non–space aliens.” Players could collect dark dots called “Bankruptcies” to improve their “Businessman Level.”
All cartridges of the game ultimately ended up being buried in a hole in New Mexico, which trumped boasted was “twice as big as the one they buried the original E.T. games in.”
TRUMP FROZEN STEAK DINNERS
Trump also made a line of TV dinners featuring his famous Trump Steaks to go with the movie. These actually did get released, but most people don’t remember them due to the high levels of kynurenic acid in the meals, a chemical we now know inhibits the formation of memory, but at the time was just known as “cheap salt.”