DEMOCRATIC PEOPLE’S REPUBLIC OF KOREA TO DOMINATE VIRAL SHARE SPACE
TAKES CONTROL OF AMERICA’S MOST POWERFUL PROPAGANDA CONDUIT:
FUNNY DEATH CHOOSE
Pyongyang, Democratic People’s Republic of Korea - Under the brilliant guidance of our gout-less savior, Supreme Leader Kim Jong-un, our prosperous nation has achieved dominance in nuclear weaponry, haircut fashion, communication with pigs, and many others. Now we embark on our greatest victory: dominance of the World Wide of Internet, aka that Forbidden Place Filled With Naked Butts and Kittens Making Errors.
As of 12:01 a.m. PT, thanks to our giant-brained leader and our strategic stockpile of America Online CD-Roms, we have taken control of the world’s most powerful propaganda conduit, Funny Death Choose, created by infamous haha clown Ron Burgundy.
“Say what you will about that imperialist fool, his performance in Boat Trip gets me every time. Easy to overlook, but it’s a great turn in one of my favorite movies ever,” eloquently spoke Supreme Leader Kim Jong-un while having sex with many satisfied women.
Real power is no longer measured in megatons, but in viral play-views preceded by sneaky preliminary roll indoctrination. We will amass the largest arsenal of feline videos, make-it-yourself clippies, and other share-friendly time destroyers that the world has ever known. Before long, brainwashing will be complete, and all will see Supreme Leader Un for the powerful, respected, tall, tan Robert Redford-lookalike he really is.
There is no stopping us now. We have already updated and perfected your beloved Landlord video with the superior acting abilities and comedic timing of our most talented leader. As for dynamite celebrity cameos, we have Paul Reiser. Repeat, we have Paul Reiser. Virality is ours.
All citizens must fulfill their share quotas.