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October 26, 2015
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Kim Kardashian turned 35 making her legally eligible to run for president or vice president of the United States. This can happen and it needs to happen.

FIX THE NATIONAL DEBT:

If Kayne drops a mixtape with Drake and The Weeknd, while Kim releases a new app, and all the proceeds go to our national and foreign debt, both will be cut in half in a month guaranteed.

REMIX THE NATIONAL ANTHEM:

REEEEEEEMIIXXXX! It’s about time we had a dope remix of our anthem, and Kanye’s the man to do it. Imagine how overjoyed our children will be to sing our country’s song every morning with their hands over their heart, and auto-tune in the souls. Morale will sky rocket, and kids all over the country can make their own version, which gives a huge, much-needed boost to arts programs.

NO MORE WAR:

Kanye and Kim are arguably the most famous couple in the world. Any country they enter they’re treated like royalty. But, if any world leaders anywhere treats them poorly our entire music industry will boycott that country. If that boycott happens their country’s citizens will revolt. Imagine Kayne saying he’s never playing another concert in Russia. Putin will have to fold and work with us. Jay Z and Beyoncé boycott Iraq during their world tour, c’mon, Iraq’s gonna sit down and try to work things out. Humans need entertainment cuz without it uprisings occur.

JOB CREATION:

We are not a democracy. We are a capitalist society disguised as a democracy. This isn’t groundbreaking news, but having two of the world’s biggest taste-makers in the White House means we can generate more money for the middle class by having Kanye and Kim do product placement all over the White House in return for charitable donations and more jobs. It’ll work, especially if those products are also sold overseas at a higher price generating even more revenue.

Why not cut a deal with Sprite to put their logo on the White House lawn? If in return Sprite donates money to charity, and hires more workers DO IT. If Sprite gets too big for its britches, Kim and Kanye will cut them off, and move on to any of the millions of other sodas waiting in line to do the job.

RELIGIOUS TOLERANCE:

They believe in God, and don’t care if you do or not. You deal with it however you want. That’s how it goes. Kanye will be the first president to lean on his podium, look in the camera, and say, “Ya’ll need to mind your own business!” He’s right, and people will listen. This goes for anything else the American people argue about. He’ll say, “Mind your own business.” People will go, “Fine.”


IN CONCLUSION:

America is already a circus so why not have two genius ring leaders represent our country. I’m not saying they’d be an infallible White House power couple, but they’d be effective. They’d get things done. PLUS it’d be so cool if every press conference started with Snoop Dog saying, “Lay-dizzles and gentle-nizzles, your president and first lady Kanye and Kim K. West side!” That would never get old.

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