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April 03, 2013

Jon Bon Jovi's selling his pad! IT'S ON!


My buddy calls me, he’s like ‘Dave, guess what?’ and I’m like ‘what?’ and he’s like ‘dude, are you sitting down?’ and I’m like ‘yeah, I’m in my jeep, getting some java from Dunkin Donuts drive through...’ and he’s like ‘Jon Bon Jovi is SELLING HIS HOUSE!’

I practically crashed my jeep into the side of the Dunkin Donuts.

Man... could you imagine if I BOUGHT JBJ’S HOUSE?

First thing I’d do, I’d be like no cleaners! Nobody go in and clean shit! And I’d walk around with a CSI kit and find all his fingerprints and have them painted on the wall.

The next thing I’d do is get a huge painting of JBJ on the wall in my living room.

Then, I’d paint the whole bathroom in yellow and black, like the “Slippery When Wet” record, my fave JBJ record.

Then, I’d have a KILLER party, and invite over everyone (Kevin, his wife and kids, Darryl, George and his girlfriend Eileen, Ruby, Randy, Jeff Craig, Dan F., Dan K. -- everyone) and be like ‘bring guac/chips/brews, whatever you want, it’s JBJ time.' I’d have each person paint their name on the kitchen wall.

But then my buddy was like ‘Dave, it’s 42 million bones’. Oh man. I just own a house painting company. How could I afford that? DE-FLATE!

Haha, oh well, guy can dream!