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September 15, 2011

ZICO Pure Premium Coconut Water is all-natural with five esessential electrolytes, and more potassium than a banana.  The ultimate hydration drink to help you get back to the man you used to be before your ex-wife Theresa, threw away 26 years of your dignity.

You may have washed down a few percocets with a glass of bleach in a hotel bathroom in Fergus, Montana during a particulary dark time in your life, but on the bright side, Cheryl, the emergency room nurse introduced you to something called, “The Secret.”  

Now you have “The Secret” in audiobook form in your iPod Nano and listen to it on the rowing machine at the your local YMCA.  You put a photo of your own head over top of picture of Ryan Reynold’s with his shirt off and placed it on your “Vision Board” and you take group Spinning classes three times a week, with ZICO Pure Premium Coconut Water fueling your every pedal stroke.

Nothing’s getting in your way.  

Not arthroscopic knee surgery.  

Not Theresa’s completely unreasonable alomony demands.