Full Credits

Stats & Data

January 29, 2009


Sister, Kelly likes to pass on e-mail. Not personal e-mail, but what ever cute little survey someone sends to her, she follows through with whatever the e-mail tells her to do. Ususally it says to send it to fifty of your friends or face the wrath of the luck lords. You've all gotten them. Some of them are cute, some included funny jokes, some are warnings about gas prices and how if I pass on the said joke, I will get a free toaster. Ya' right.
Most of the time I just ignor them, but recently she sent one that wanted the reader to fill a survey that told the sender how well they new that person. I was suppose to answer these questions about Kelly and send it back to her, and at the same time...I'm to pass it on to twentyfive people that I know to see how well people know me.

DON'T LEAVE! I promise not to send any out to any of you.

I did however (hee hee) take the opportunity to tease my sister. It's fun, I have done it all my life! But it's okay...she deserves it. Trust me. She will get even.

Here we are in 1969:
Look how Mom dressed us. "Leave it to Beaver," anyone? It was 1969, Mom! Woodstock! The moon landing! Brady Bunch!...oh wait...that's right, two years later, my folks got into moccasins and sandles. There are pictures of me and Kelly in "Love and Peace" shirts and Partridge Family ensembles, but I don't have any scans to scare you with.

So here is her E-Mail and how I replied. (Silly sister)

Where did we meet?
Mom and Dad found you in the park. I wanted a dog.

Take a stab at my middle name?
Die! Die! Stab Stab!

Do I speak a second language?
"Oooo Look at me...I'm a girl...OoooOoo"

Am I a cat lover or dog lover?
Mom use to feed you cat food.

Do I smoke?
No, the fire department stopped me before I could get that far

Color of my eyes?
Shit Brown

Do I have any siblings?

What's one of my favorite things to do?
Pick on your brother

What's my favorite type of music?

Am I taller than you?
Not when I am standing on you

Am I shy or outgoing?
"Look at me ...I'm a girl...I'm important!"

Am I a rebel or do I follow the rules?
Rule #1: No girls allowed

What is my birth month?

Do I want to see a woman or man as next president?
I've notified the Secret Service about your plans to assasinate the president.

I am a member of which political party?
The Cootie Party

Am I Liberal? Moderate? or Conservative?
You are Moderatlely annoying

Have you ever heard me sing?
Oh God, Yes.

How many children do I have?
You have two left. You ate the others.

Have we taken photographs together?

When is the last time you saw me?
We've never met...excuse me, lady...who are you?

When will I see you again?
At the hearing.

Have we ever had a falling out?
What...like outta window?

If you and I were stranded on a desert island, what is one thing that I would bring?

Am I right handed or left handed?
You are right clawed.

What type of work do I do?
Piss me off!

Hee Hee! I know, I know. What am I, still six years old? Well...no matter how old you get there is one basic law of Big Brothers. Your little sister is ALWAYS your little sister....unless you can trade her for a puppy.

As of this writing, she has not retaliated. (Until she does, I continue to sleep with the lights on.)

Scratch my belly

Things overheard in a book store:
From the "I was answering phone calls like crazy!" Department

Phone rings

Me: Thank you for calling (book store name). How can I help you?

Voice on phone: Bark, bark, bark! Ruff, ruff!
(I kid you not, someone was barking over the phone.)

I hang up. The phone rings again.
Me: Thank you for calling (book store name). How can I help you?

Voice on phone: Did you just hang up on me?

Me: Well, I just had a call where somebody was barking over the phone. Was that you?