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December 04, 2017

List: 10 Reasons Why 4th Grade is like Exactly like Every Hallmark Movie

  • The most successful and provocative flirting is when people toss flour at each while baking gingerbread houses or brush paint on each other’s noses when creating the banner for the big party
  • All towns have a population of your entire elementary school so it’s a real sense of community
  • There is only one very attractive boy and he has remained unattached and elusive because he hasn’t figured out girls yet
  • Everyone is constantly eating pounds of sugar and butter all month and they still consistently weigh 80 pounds
  • No one ever drinks alcohol. It’s all “oh, have some hot cocoa, it cures a broken heart/lost dog/broken family” and no one has ever said that in real life
  • You will remember your first crush until the day you die or unless you guys get together by December 24th
  • People never kiss with tongue
  • If a Christmas wish or some degree of general holiday magic is involved, you are just at the cusp of the age where you still sort of believe in that stuff so it’s easier for you to buy into it
  • The annual Christmas Fair is the highlight of the season and it’s just a giant recess of “who’s who”
  • You can marry someone after knowing them for two weeks and without having sex and only kissing maybe twice tops