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October 09, 2012

A Rejection letter written from eHarmony to Chris Brown.

Dear Chris Brown,


Thank you for your continued business with eHarmony!  You must understand that we at eHarmony do our absolute best to find the most suitable matches for all applicants.  We regret to inform you that there are no matches for you at this time.   Your application has been rejected for a number of reasons.  We at eHarmony would like to do what we can to help you succeed.  

“Smacking hoes” and “getting paper” are not acceptable hobbies to attract matches.  Try to avoid saying anything involving violence and using derogatory terms for women.  Women respond much better to compliments and acts of affection.  We recommend replacing “smacking” with something like “cuddling”, and “hoes” with “beautiful women”.     Women love sensitive men, tell them how you will protect them from others, not how you will abuse them.

It has also come to our attention that you have recently added a photo of your new neck tattoo of an abused woman to our site.  This picture has been reported thousands of times for being offensive.  We ask that you get this tattoo removed as soon as possible, not only to allow us to reactivate your account, but also to increase your own personal overall success with women.   Women do not respond well to men who portray that they are violent and insensitive to others.

This last point should go without saying but, we are not the kind of website that is okay with posting nude pictures.  Women do not think highly of men who post naked cell phone pictures of themselves on the internet.  They much prefer a guy who looks respectable and whom they can take home to their parents.  Work on charming women with your words and personality, not your body. 

Even though you are a paying member, we cannot in good faith, keep your account active until these matters have been dealt with.   We expect all members of our site to treat others with full respect.  It tarnishes what we are about here at eHarmony if we allow offensive things to be posted on our site.  Please take these kind remarks seriously if you’d like to have any sort of chance at success with women.



Good luck,



Neil Clark Warren                                                                                                                                                       Co-Founder and CEO                                                                                                                                                  eHarmony