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June 03, 2017
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Grandma can spend one dollar on three cans of cat food instead of one can of tuna!

Food is something Grandma’s need and unfortunately it’s expensive. All around the United States it has been reported that Grandmas are eating cat food to save money.

Grandmas can now spend one dollar on three cans of cat food instead of one can of tuna and they’re tasting the savings!

These savings allow fusty Grandmas to get out more and spend their time on the more important things in life, like cigarettes and yarn. Grandmas love slowly skedaddling, smoking cigarettes and knitting. That said, be sure Grandma is getting the right kind of diet so she can experience the high jinks that she craves. Here are some cat food brands that will help keep your Grandma happy and healthy.


1. MeMaw Mix

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With real Country Gravy!

Me Maw Mix is a delightful kibble that is crunchy on the outside with a juicy Country Gravy squirt in the center. The crunchy kibble will help Grandma’s teeth fight plaque build up. Then the delicious Country Gravy squirt in the kibble’s moist center is filled with Omega 6 vitamins which will help her coat stay nice and shiny. Me Maw Mix is a gallimaufry of flavor that reduces cantankerousness and jiggery-pokery by 34%.


2. Captain Kittenplan Presents: Country Gravy

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A hardy square meal, but in a circular can!

Captain Kittenplan Presents Country Gravy is a nutritious cat food that is a favorite among Grandmas. Grandmas love sailors like Sea Captain Kittenplan. In fact, many flummoxed Grandmas are still waiting for their husbands or sons to come home from sea. Captain Kittenplan reminds Grandmas of the good times. Grandmas love to remember. Dinner is a good time to remember, and remembering helps with sundowning.


3. Nancy Feast

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[DO NOT EAT THIS IF YOU ARE UNDER THE AGE OF 65 AND NOT NAMED “NANCY”]

This brand of cat food is tailored for Grandmas specifically named"Nancy"that are over 65 years of age. There shouldn’t be anyone named “Nancy” under that age but that’s neither here nor there. A “Nancy” is a beautiful obligate carnivore. She requires a diet high in protein gravies. Get your Nancy the cat gravy that she needs so she can be boisterous whilst passing out her hard candy to young boys and driving at a “slow-jog” speed to buy more cigarettes.


4. Meowlboro

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The Creators of Country Gravy

The good folks at big tobacco know Grandmas and Grandmas know and love cigarettes. Meowlboro features dry and wet cat food made from lamb gravy, salmon gravy, and snow leopard gravy. All their gravy is blended with Meowlboro’s Original Country Gravy. These glorious kibbles are spray-finished with NanaPLUS Technology: a foofaraw of shredded corn, Pfizer antipsychotics and a robust nicotine additive for a satisfied Grandma, or kitty. Meowlboro is great for her budget, one can of Meowlboro has nicotine levels equal to 2.5 packs of cigarettes. Grandma’s coin purse will jingle heartily. She’ll have available funds for the bingo and the nice yarns. Buy Grandma the Meowlboro she needs. You may just receive a smashingly chic sweater this year on your birthday. Meowlboro Cat Food is also safe for owls.


Grandmas adore cats. Cats adore yarn. Grandmas knit with yarn. Grandmas eat cat food. Cats eat Grandma’s face when she dies alone.

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