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August 13, 2017

Chicago IL— The new trailer for Death Wish, starring Bruce Willis, is pissing off some inhabitants of Chicago.

Chicago IL— The new trailer for Death Wish, starring Bruce Willis, is pissing off some inhabitants of Chicago.

They are specifically upset about the portrayal of their city. According to Jamal Wilkens, life-long Chicago native, “That movie’s got it all wrong- I grew up on the south side of Chi-raq and there ain’t no white people there.” He further stated, “This is just another case of white washing. We can’t even have our gang violence … Willis killed mostly white guys!”

The mayor of Chicago is equally unhappy with the portrayal of Chicago citizens in the trailer, “This trailer is just disgusting! It trivializes everything that we are dealing with here and makes us seem like pussies. You know, like we’re from New York City or Detroit.”

He added, “It shows two kids in a hospital and a dead wife. Come on, 17 people are murdered within the city limits every day. Our murder rate is the highest in the nation and we deserve respect for that. How dare these Hollywood types portray our gang bangers like they’re in the rookie leagues. Our bangers are professionals- they shoot to kill.”

Not only the depiction of the city is causing problems; how the characters in Chicago react are just as disheartening. William Tellner, school teacher at Chicago College Academy, stated, “We don’t raise our children to be quitters or to ask for help. We teach them, if someone shoots at you, you shoot right back.”

However, the movie does have some supporters. Eric Jane, retired police officer and closeted racist from Highland Park stated, “The trailer got it all right- old white men can solve the gang violence problem in Chicago. If people would just let white cops beat random minorities on the street, or shoot someone based purely on the color of their skin, then America would be a safer place.”

The trailer’s depiction of one character type is quite accurate according to those interviewed. If you’re walking home at night and you see an old white man, cross the street and get out of there as quickly as possible. According to Wilkens, “Movies have trained us to be afraid of old white men. It doesn’t matter if they are police officers, accountants, or managers of Taco Bell, they all hate minorities.”