Since being told last week that ESPN would not be renewing his contract, Grantland editor Bill Simmons and general blabbermouth has been extremely quiet. Now, chances are he’s trying his best to keep his mouth shut and keep gettin’ them checks until his current contract runs out. But honestly, that’s never stopped him in the past and, like, it’s raining buzzer beaters over in NBA land so surely he’s gotten something to say, right? Seriously.
Obviously, the internet is deeply concerned about the whole situation, so the brilliant folks over at Deadspin are running a Photoshop contest to try and help determine just where the hell Bill Simmons has gone. Below are some of the more possible theories, but be sure to head over to Deadspin to see the rest.
THEORY 1: KIDNAPPED
THEORY 2: FIGURING THINGS OUT
THEORY 3: APOLOGIZING TO ROGER GOODELL
THEORY 4: ALREADY SCORED A NEW GIG
THEORY 5: STILL WEIGHING HIS OPTIONS THO
THEORY 6: GETTING SOME WORK DONE AROUND THE HOUSE
THEORY 7: WORKING ON HIS TAN
THEORY 8: WEEKEND BENDER
THEORY 9: FORCED TO FLEE THE COUNTRY
THEORY 10: LIVING THE SWEET LIFE
THEORY 11: HUSTLIN’
THEORY 12: A MUCH-DESERVED HAWAIIAN VACATION
THEORY 13: HIDING IN PLAIN SIGHT