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June 20, 2009
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theDIRTYmidget.©
presents

"TRIVIAL EFFLUVIA FROM THE BACK PORCH.:  
  or WHY CURMUDGEONS LIKE ME
  NEVER STOP THEIR EMBITTERED BITCHING."   

#002.5 in an angry series
(version two.) 

Today's installment:

"MORE HORSESHIT FROM DUMB-ASSES."



The DUMB-ASSES are in GREEN
The
HORSESHIT is in RED. 

My PITHY WISDOM is in PURPLE

[If you're
color-blind, I sincerely apologize.]


- - - - -


6/17/09 update (Associated Press)

"Graduation crackdown topic of meeting."


PORTLAND, Maine


Leaders of a Maine school district will meet next week with parents
and students upset with a crackdown on student mischief at graduation.

A sheriff’s deputy
escorted one
Bonny Eagle High School student
from Friday’s ceremony
after a beach ball was launched
inside the Cumberland County Civic Center
.

("Oh, my God!  Did the beach ball explode and kill all his classmates?" 

NO, I'M AFRAID IT WAS ONLY A FUCKING BEACH BALL.  

Several students, however, did  report
mussed hair and skewed mortar-boards,
which irreversibly traumatized them. 

A grief counselor was immediately summoned.) 


Parents and students say a second student was removed
simply for blowing a kiss and bowing to the audience
.

( The kiss was also allegedly blown to his own family. ) 

( Oh ... 
   My ... 
   GOD !!!  

That degenerate MOTHERFUCKER !!! 

"Did he pull down his pants and urinate,
defecate, flatulate or ejaculate into the faces
of the first three rows of the 'splash-zone'?" 

No, I'm afraid the blown kiss and bow were all there was to it. 

Obviously, euthanization is the only answer. )  


Audience members booed and heckled
Superintendent Suzanne Lukas,
who launched the crackdown

( Good for them.  
  
 Suzanne is undoubtedly sexually-deprived
  and deserves nothing less
  than forced early-retirement. ) 


David Hopkins
, chairman of the board of directors for SAD 6 

( obviously named for both the
   length, in years, of his current period of celibacy
   and his feelings about that fact. )
  

said the goal of Monday’s meeting is to
figure out how to make graduation better.
He said parents and students need to decide
whether they want a “refined event” or “a circus.” 

Naturally, the school administrators will insist it should be
a refined event, so as to more unapologetically
drive the soul-withering conformity 
students were forced to suffer for 4 years
just a little bit farther up their collective ass
before releasing them into the 'real-world,'
where it will continue to bedevil them
to the grave and,
hopefully, beyond.   


That's why, 
Ladies and Gentlemen, 
my  vote is for
"circus / keg party / drug orgy."  


Now, I'm not a parent,
but, If you can, please
take the advice of someone
who actually was  a child once
(believe it or not )
and who's never fully reached his own potential,
partially because he was trained
never to make waves, and therefore
never tried to make any until it was way too late: 

Always keep your
regard for the happiness,
emotional well-being and
mental-health of your child
FAR above that for those of
their school administrators. 

These fucks need to feel powerful
in their tiny, ineffectual empires 
(having once not properly thought out
their career choices, thus also
feeling the
constant craving to
create suffocating misery

for the young and full of potential),
and it's not the kids' faults.
  

Kids will have plenty of time to
have their dreams crushed, later. 

At all costs, postpone 
what I'm fond of calling
"Life's Mental Ass-Rape"
for as long as you possibly can. 


I thank you, again, for your time. 

theDIRTYmidget.©


I love you all. 

"Peace to those who do no harm."


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