Pretend you are a spokesperson for your favorite infomercial product.
"Within 30 minutes I can take a frozen pork chop from the freezer to the dinner table thanks to the NuWave Oven."
"I can cook a lumberjack breakfast in just 10 minutes. Doesn't that sound awesome?"
"Hey guys, if I call now I can receive my NuWave for 3 easy payments of $49.99."
"Before we play this game of shotty snipers on Valhalla, did you know the NuWave makes a perfect gift for college students and the elderly?"
(I was getting bored with doing the Borat voice.)
I think my next thing will be to complain about all the problems that come from being a masked vigilante. Ya know, always making sure know one sees you get into your Hyundai Accent after a night of crimefighting. That sort of thing.