Full Credits

Stats & Data

June 06, 2009


1. They Give Money to 9-11 Charities

2. They Binge&Purge

3. They Play Computer Games Like Tic Tac Toe and Global Thermonuclear War

Hey, let's play a game where nobody ever wins! Sounds totally not fun!

4. They Watch the Spice Channel (Instead of Real Porn!)

Like adult entertainment edited by the writers of LOST. Just when you think you’re getting to the good part, they cut to another scene.

5. They Try to Resist The Borg

Textbook futility.

6. They Do That Thing Where You Move Bricks Back&Forth

A longtime staple of dickhead Drill Sergeants and asshole Dads, many Third Party Voters can often be spotted moving stacks of bricks back & forth across their various lawns, driveways and padded rooms.

7. They Try to Change Peoples’ Minds About Religion, Gun Control&Abortion

8. And They Rake Leaves In Tornadoes

Okay so maybe they don’t do that, but they might as well. It’s just as effective as a vote for the Green Party!  More so!

So remember, voting Third Party doesn't make you an idealist or a rebel.  It makes you a fucking idiot.