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October 15, 2014
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Lady Gaga, the over-the-top and flamboyant performer, held a commitment ceremony with her longtime boyfriend Taylor Kinney earlier this week (story). As can be expected from Gaga, the ceremony pushed the boundaries of convention and was anything but traditional. Here are a few highlights:

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Lady Gaga, the over-the-top and boundary pushing performer, and her longtime monogamous boyfriend Taylor Kinney


Lady Gaga held a commitment ceremony with her boyfriend Taylor Kinney earlier this week (story). As can be expected from Gaga, the ceremony pushed the boundaries of convention and was anything but traditional. Here are a few highlights:

  • Instead of a normal wedding cake, they had an over-the-top commitment cake.
  • Rather than wear a traditional white wedding dress, Gaga wore a more flamboyant off-white wedding dress.
  • It’s rumored that Gaga designed Kinney’s tuxedo, which attendees described as “pretty much like a normal black tuxedo, but maybe a little more convention pushing, I guess.”
  • The venue reportedly had its traditional dance floor removed and in its place a $40,000 “Just Dance” floor installed.
  • Photos leaked of the miniature plastic wedding couple placed on top of the cake, revealing that rather than the traditional bride-groom arrangement, the couple chose the more over-the-top option of groom-bride.
  • A commitment-ceremony planner hired for the event told reporters that traditional wedding invitations were vetoed early on, the pair instead opting to send friends and family an over-the-top email asking them to fill out a digital RSVP on a flamboyant website, selecting a box that read either “This Little Monster is attending” or “This Little Monsters sends their Little Monster regrets”
  • When the time came in the ceremony for Gaga and Kinney to kiss, rather than a traditional wedding kiss, Gaga opted to dislodge her lower jaw so that she could swallow Kinney whole, enwombing him inside of her as she cooed soothing words in a language the couple made up as attendees joined hands in a circle around them as they rolled their eyes far back into their skulls and chanted in unison a Wiccan spirit mother prayer for exactly 496 seconds, serving to push convention as a symbolic public showing of their romantic commitment to each other. Also, a Catholic priest presided.
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