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May 10, 2016

“Silly Squad: The Early Years” is a short story collection of original stories that take place during the founding years of the Silly Squad before it was a successful mass media corporation it was just a bunch of funny losers living in a dumpy headquarters. These short stories are basically a prequel to the entire Silly Squad series and features characters who may have not truly been early members of the group. So these short stories will be in no peculiar order but will instead be funny original stories that show the early history of the Silly Squad. So enjoy this wonderful collection of short stories!


“Silly Squad: The Early Years” is a short story collection of original stories that take place during the founding years of the Silly Squad before it was a successful mass media corporation it was just a bunch of funny losers living ina dumpy headquarters. These short stories are basically a prequel to the entire Silly Squad series and features characters who may have not truly been early members of the group. So these short stories will be in no peculiar order but will instead be funny original stories that show the early history of the Silly Squad. So enjoy this wonderful collection of short stories!

Story 1: First Day on the Job!

Our story begins when the founding members of the Silly Squad began their first day as members of the Silly Squad. Basically they found Silly Squad with a single dream…making the world laugh. But they are basically broke, barely famous, they all have no connections to anyone within the entertainment industry, no clear business plan and worst of all they’re barely even really that funny. So now we go to the Silly Squad headquarters which basically is a crappy old building in the middle of nowhere just on the outskirts of Hollywood where a knock on the front door is heard. “I’ll get it,” said Mr. Pencil. Mr. Pencil answered the door and it was the landlord of the Silly Squad headquarters Paul Proboscis Monkey. “Oh hello their Mr. Paul Proboscis Monkey, what do you want on this fine Tuesday,” asked Mr. Pencil. “What do I want….where’s the freaking rent…you idiots owe me three months’ rent…now where’s my god damn money,” asked Paul Proboscis Monkey while smoking a cigar. “Ah, we’ll pay you when we can…even as we speak some of the guys are preforming at a birthday party that pays really well…anyway we’re working on it…so don’t worry okay,” said Mr. Pencil.“Okay…here’s the deal…if you don’t pay me all the money you owe me…you dumbasses will be evicted from my building and I’ll rent it out to someone who actually pays on time…you have 24 hours to get the money or else…now good day,”said Paul Proboscis Monkey. Then Paul Proboscis Monkey left and Mr. Pencil shut the door. Then Mr. Pencil sighed and went back to watch TV with his friends and other Silly Squad members Rags the Raccoon and Lenny the Leopard. “Who was that at the door,” asked Rag the Raccoon while eating a bag of corn chips. “Dude…we need to pay the rent right now or else we’ll be evicted…now how much money are we making at that kid’s birthday party,” asked Mr. Pencil. “I think they’re getting $20 and that leaves us with only,” said Lenny the Leopard. “We’re screwed,” cried Mr. Pencil. Now we go to some kid’s birthday party where Flea-Boy the Clown, Igor, Fatty the Elephant Seal, Stupid Kid, Mr. Face, Mr.Bunny, Bear and Snake were performing. “Happy Birthday…ah…,” yelled Flea-Boy the Clown. Flea-Boy the Clown then read a note card. “Billy…now are you kids really to laugh,” yelled Flea-Boy the Clown. The kids at Billy’s birthday party began to cheer real loudly. “Okay, let’s start the show,” yelled Flea-Boy the Clown. During their performance Flea-Boy the Clown, Igor, Fatty the Elephant Seal, Stupid Kid, Mr. Face, Mr. Bunny, Bear and Snake each did a skit and after two hours of performance the show was over. “Thank you…that was our show and now you can applaud and give us that $20,” said Flea-Boy the Clown. Then after Flea-Boy the Clown was done speaking, they kids began to boo and throw cupcakes at him. “I guess these kids didn’t like our act,” said Igor. Fatty the Elephant Seal was eating a piece of cake. “I still hope we get the money,” said Snake.Now we return to the Silly Squad headquarters where Flea-Boy the Clown, Igor,Fatty the Elephant Seal, Stupid Kid, Mr. Face, Mr. Bunny, Bear and Snake arrived after their disastrous performance at Billy’s birthday. “Well guys…we may have not been funny today…but at least we got $20,” said Flea-Boy the Clown. “But dude, we really got to work on our material if we want to make people laugh…we aren’t as funny as we think we are,” said Mr. Face. “Guys we are totally funny and we don’t need to change the act…now let’s get ready for another kids birthday party,” said Flea-Boy the Clown. Then Mr. Pencil rushed towards Flea-Boy the Clown’s side. “Boss…did you get the $20,” cried Mr.Pencil. “Yes…why,” asked Flea-Boy the Clown. “We have to pay the rent now or else we’re going to get evicted,” cried Flea-Boy the Clown. “Well we made $20how much more do we owe,” asked Flea-Boy the Clown. “I ran the numbers…we owe $100,000 to Paul Proboscis Monkey,” cried Mr. Pencil. “Holy shit….this past week alone we only made a $100…we need to rise our prices,” cried Flea-Boy the Clown. “It gets worse you know,” said Lenny the Leopard as he entered the scene. “How worse,” asked Flea-Boy the Clown. “We forgot to pay the cable bill, the water bill, the electric bill…hell we have to file for bankruptcy at this point…face it Flea-Boy…the Silly Squad’s dead,” said Lenny the Leopard. “Guys don’t give up…we just need to think of a way to raise the money we need to pay…but how,”asked Flea-Boy the Clown. “We could have a bake sale,” said Bear. “You idiot…you can’t cook squat…and you’re cookies gave me diarrhea for two weeks,”yelled Snake. “We could sell our bodies to science,” said Stupid Kid. “I think you have to be dead to do that,” said Mr. Bunny. “We have to be dead to do what now,” asked Stupid Kid. “I got it…I know how we can get all the money we need,”said Flea-Boy the Clown. Now we go to the next day and our heroes finally paidthe rent and all of their bills. How do you ask? You really don’t want to know!


Story 2: Do the Fartio!

Our story begins when Stupid Kid and Chief Dumb-dumb are bored and begin flushing random stuff down the toilet. Then after flushing so many things…the toilet broke. “I think it broke,” said Stupid Kid. “What broke,” asked Chief Dumb-dumb. “Who are you,” asked Stupid Kid. “Who am I,” asked Chief Dumb-dumb. Now we go to the outside of the bathroom door where Snake is dying to go to the bathroom. “Come on I really have to go…Bear if you’re trying on bras again for god’s sake you’re a male bear,” cried Snake. A couple of hours later Snake, Igor, Fatty the Elephant Seal, Mr. Face, Mr. Bunny, Rags the Raccoon and Lenny the Leopardwere all waiting in line to use the bathroom. “Who the hell is in there,” cried Snake who was in front of the line. Then the bathroom began to flood and water was leaking through the bathroom door. “Oh my god…it’s beginning to flood,”cried Snake. “We better call a plumber,” said Lenny the Leopard. Then Lenny the Leopard called a plumber. “Ding dong,” rang the doorbell. Lenny the Leopard answered the door. It was the very stinky plumber Fartio. “Evening, I’m Fartio of Fartio Bros. Plumbing…you called,” asked Fartio. And while Fartio was talking he farted. “Dude…have you ever heard of a shower,” cried Lenny the Leopard. “Do you need a plumber or not,” asked Fartio. Then Fartio farted again. Lenny the Leopard sighed and then covered his nose. “Right this way,” said Lenny the Leopard. Then Lenny the Leopard showed Fartio the bathroom door and Fartio knocked on the door. “Anyone in there,” asked Fartio. “Who’s anyone,” cried Stupid Kid and Chief Dumb-dumb at the same time. “Yah…I’ll just open the door now,”said Fartio. Then Fartio opened the door and a huge rush of water burst out of the bathroom. Then when it was done flooding, Fartio entered the bathroom and fixed the toilet. “That poor toilet…these two idiots flushed random junk downthe toilet thus clogging it…among the things I found was a Rolex which I will keep for myself thank you very much…all in all the toilet is fixed and useable,” said Fartio. “Great how much do I owe you,” asked Lenny the Leopard.“$300,” said Fartio while farting. “Do you take credit cards,” asked Lenny the Leopard. “No I do not…now where’s my money,” asked Fartio. “Let me talk to my boss real quick,” said Lenny the Leopard. Since the Silly Squad couldn’t pay Fartio the money….meet the newest member of the Silly Squad, Fartio. DO THE FARTIO!


Story 3: Salesman Spotty Never Gives Up!

“Ding dong,”rang the doorbell. Flea-Boy the Clown answered the door. “Hello good sir…how would you like to buy a toaster today,” asked Spotty. “You again…I don’t want to buy a toaster from you and I leave me alone,” yelled Flea-Boy the Clown.Flea-Boy the Clown then slammed the door. “Damn it…nobody wants to buy my toasters,” said Spotty to himself. Then Paul Proboscis Monkey bumped into Spotty as he was leaving. “Sorry buddy I didn’t mean to bump into you,” said Paul Proboscis Monkey while smoking a cigar. “That’s okay…say would you like to buy a toaster,” asked Spotty. “No…what I would like is for these idiots to pay their rent on time,” cried Paul Proboscis Monkey. “Well I wish people would buy my toasters…I’m the only salesman employed and I wish I could get some help to sell these toasters,” said Spotty. “Only salesman employed huh,” said Paul Proboscis Monkey while smoking a cigar. Now we go to Paul Proboscis Monkey and Spotty who called a meeting of the Silly Squad members. “Look will pay you therent when we can now leave us alone Paul,” cried Flea-Boy the Clown. “Now listen up you idiots…I just got you all new jobs…working for Mr. Spotty selling toasters door to door…it pays enough to pay the money you idiots owe me…now meet your new boss Mr. Spotty,” said Paul Proboscis Monkey. “What do you mean you got us jobs…we already…,” cried Flea-Boy the Clown as Paul Proboscis Monkey left the room. “Alright men…you all work for me now…here’s some suits and ties for you to wear…now let’s sell toasters until the quota is met…go Team Spotty,”yelled Spotty. Soon all the Silly Squad members began to sell toasters door to door. After a whole day of selling toasters, the Silly Squad members collected enough money to pay their rent. “See I told you my plan would work…now just remember to pay your rent on time and I won’t bug you again,” said Paul Proboscis Monkey. “Plus we made a little extra money for ourselves,” said Flea-Boy the Clown. Then Flea-Boy the Clown, Igor, Fatty the Elephant Seal,Stupid Kid, Mr. Face, Mr. Bunny, Bear and Snake began to cheer. “Well good day to you now…oh there’s one thing I was wondering,” asked Spotty. “What, you annoying dog,” asked Flea-Boy the Clown. “Could I join the Silly Squad,” askedSpotty. “Sure why not,” said Flea-Boy the Clown. The Silly Squad has anothernew member…Spotty. Spotty would soon realize that he would regret his decision to join the Silly Squad. But for now…everyone was happy!


Story 4: Happy Birthday to The Short Term Memory Loss Family

The Short Term Memory Loss Family is throwing a birthday party for their youngest son…orat least the think it’s his birthday. But they hired the Silly Squad to performfor their son’s birthday party. “Hi, were here to perform for the birthdayparty,” said Flea-Boy the Clown. “It’s somebody’s birthday,” cried The Short Term Memory Loss Family at the same time. “Uh, the call we got said it was foryour son,” said Flea-Boy the Clown. “We have a son,” said The Short Term Memory Loss Family at the same time. “Look is it somebody’s birthday or what,” askedFlea-Boy the Clown. “Who are you,” cried The Short Term Memory Loss Family atthe same time. “I’m with the Silly Squad and we’re here to entertain for your son’s birthday,” said Flea-Boy the Clown. “HAPPY BIRTHDAY FLEA-BOY THE CLOWN,”yelled The Short Term Memory Loss Family. “Okay…we’ll be leaving now and you don’t have to pay us now you can just pay us later…LET’S GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE,” cried Flea-Boy the Clown. The Silly Squad fled The Short Term MemoryLoss Family’s house. “What just happened,” cried The Short Term Memory Loss Family at the same time. And the story is now over!


Story 5: Silly Squad Catches A Criminal!

Now we go to a wanted criminal named Fred who just escaped from prison and is on the run from the law. “I got to find a place to hide,” cried Fred. Fred then noticed the Silly Squad headquarters and he saw that the front door was open. “I guess I’ll stay in this dump,” said Fred. Fred then entered the Silly Squad headquarters where he was greeted by Flea-Boy the Clown. “Hello sir…are you a customer orare you trying to become a new member,” asked Flea-Boy the Clown. “Look Ijust…uh…I guess I want to join your group,” cried Fred. “Great, the Silly Squad is always looking for new members…but first you just have to prove if you’re funny enough to join…are you funny,” asked Flea-Boy the Clown. “Uh…okay…here’s a joke why did the chicken cross the road,” asked Fred. “To get to the other side…you suck and you can not join the Silly Squad…good day sir,” said Flea-Boy the Clown. As Flea-Boy the Clown was about to shut the door, Fred panicked and said. “I want you to entertain me,” cried Fred. “Oh boy…hey guys we go a customer,” yelled Flea-Boy the Clown. Then Flea-Boy the Clown, Igor, Fatty the Elephant Seal, Stupid Kid, Mr. Face, Mr. Bunny, Rags the Raccoon, Lenny theLeopard, Bear and Snake began to perform skits in front of Fred while Fred was sitting on the couch. After the show, they all bowed. “So that’ll be $40 and what did you think,” asked Flea-Boy the Clown. “Wow…you guys suck…and I don’t have $40,” said Fred. “Oh you’re not going to pay us…call the police…we have someone who won’t pay the money he owes us,” said Flea-Boy the Clown. “No don’t call the cops…I’m a wanted…,” cried Fred. “Bear, Snake hold him down,” yelled Flea-Boy the Clown. Bear and Snake then held Fred down and a couple of minutes later the police arrived at the Silly Squad headquarters. “Here he is officers…the man who won’t pay for our performance,” said Flea-Boy the Clown.The police officers took one look at Fred and recognized him. “Oh my god…these funny men caught Fred…he escaped from prison three months ago,” cried Police Officer #1. “So…this guy is a wanted criminal…is there a reward,” asked Flea-Boy the Clown. Soon the Silly Squad was given a $50,000 reward for capturing Fred and the Silly Squad became heroes. As for Fred, when he gets ou the has to pay off his debt to the Silly Squad by being a temporary member of the group. Even though Fred is not funny!


Story 6: Silly Squad Eats at Mr. Big’s Diner!

“Lunch break,” said Flea-Boy the Clown. “So where should we eat,” asked Lenny the Leopard. “Let’s try that new diner down the block,” said Mr. Pencil. So the Silly Squad headed to Mr. Big’s Diner for a quick lunch break. Mr. Big welcomes the Silly Squad to his diner. “Hello gentlemen, welcome to Mr. Big’s Diner…I’m Mr. Big and what would you like to eat today,” asked Mr. Big. “What’s that smell,” asked Lenny the Leopard. “Oh that’s nothing,” said Mr. Big. “It smells like vomit and a corpse,” said Lenny the Leopard. “I just make you all some delicious hamburgers,” said Mr. Big. The Silly Squad then ate Mr. Big’s burgers and the all began to vomit. “Dude…your food sucks,” cried Snake. Mr.Big began to cry. “Now what,” asked Flea-Boy the Clown. “Nobody likes my cooking at all…every restaurant I open gets closed down by the health department…if this diner doesn’t work out I lose everything,” cried Mr. Big.Mr. Big then began sobbing and then Flea-Boy the Clown had an idea. “Mr. Big…I have an idea of how you can get customers to eat you crappy food,” said Flea-Boy the Clown. “You have an idea of how to get people to come eat here…and not sue me,” asked Mr. Big. After a brief negotiation, the Silly Squad became the official spokesmen for Mr. Big’s Diner and filmed many commercials. After the commercials starring the Silly Squad aired, Mr. Big’s Diner became a popular eating joint even though the food sucks. Also the Silly Squad named Mr.Big an honorary member of the group and Mr. Big gave them a lifetime supply of free hamburgers at Mr. Big’s Diner. And everyone lived happily ever after! Expect the people who got sick after eating at Mr. Big’s Diner and died!


Story 7: Silly Squad Holds Auditions!

“Guys…we need new members,” said Flea-Boy the Clown. “Why do we need new members…we’re not making any money,”said Rags the Raccoon. “I got a deal for us to film a TV pilot and if the network heads like it the Silly Squad would get its own TV show,” said Flea-Boythe Clown. “How in the Hell did you ever get to talk to any TV network heads,”asked Lenny the Leopard. “I work part time as a janitor at Channel 5, now let’s hold the auditions,” said Flea-Boy the Clown. Soon a bunch of up and coming comedians auditioned to become members of the Silly Squad. Comedians who auditioned include Hands on His Head, Otto the Ostrich, The Frog, The Evil Clowns (Evil, Happy, & Sad), Holly Dog, Mr. Squirrel, Snapper the Snapping Turtle, The Shekys (Sheky 1, Sheky 2, Sheky 3, and Sheky 4), Judy Brown, Funky Monkey, Popper Popcorn, Charlie the Genie, What Does This Do Cowboy, AJ Lu, Coo-Coo Bird and Dingo. “Wow, some many of you were funny…but now it’s time to announce the new members of the Silly Squad…drum roll please,” said Flea-Boy the Clown.Then a drum actually rolled like a wheel in front of Flea-Boy the Clown. “The new members are Funky Monkey, Popper Popcorn, and Charlie the Genie and the rest of you get the fudge out,” said Flea-Boy the Clown. Now the Silly Squadhas three new members and they would go on to film a TV pilot. After Flea-Boy the Clown showed the TV pilot to the TV network heads. It finally happened people! The Silly Squad got their own locally produced and locally aired TV show on Channel 5. This is a historic day indeed for the Silly Squad. But sadly after only three episodes that aired, the Silly Squad’s first TV show was cancelled due to low ratings. The Silly Squad is now broke once again and their one shot at the big time failed. But of course the Silly Squad will never give up their dream of making the world laugh!


Mr.Pencil, Big Boss Kid, Bear, and Snake were late for work once again. They all were diving in the same car. “Ah, Big Boss Kid farted again,” yelled Bear. “It smells like a cow died in here,” yelled Snake. “You guys we have always been late for work Flea-Boy the Clown will fire us from the Silly Squad,” yelled Mr.Pencil.

Then there was a hitchhiker on the road. “Oh let’s pick him up,” said Big Boss Kid.It was Fartio. “Ah thanks for picking me up,” said Fartio. “Wow, it’s Fartio from the video game I have at home,” yelled Bear. “I smelled someone farting if you think that smelled bad wait for this,” yelled Fartio. Then Fartio made a big fart the biggest fart and it was like a nuclear explosion. “Ah, that blew up my car we are going to be late again damn it,” yelled Mr. Pencil. Soon Mr. Pencil,Big Boss Kid, Bear, Snake, and Fartio got to the Silly Squad headquarters. “You guys are late again one more time you’re late you are all fired,” yelled Flea-Boy the Clown. “Well at lest we got here,” yelled Big Boss Kid. Then Mr.Pencil started crying.

The End

Toad and Mouse Meet Catfish Jack!

Our story begins when Catfish Jack, Mr. Otter and Snapper the Snapping Turtle wereswimming in the lake. “What I fine day for swimming,” said Catfish Jack.“Indeed,” said Mr. Otter. “Yah…I love being in the water,” said Snapper the Snapping Turtle. While Toad and Mouse were out on their boat above Catfish Jack, Mr. Otter and Snapper the Snapping Turtle who were swimming underwater.“What a fine day for a boat ride,” said Toad. “Indeed,” said Mouse. On the shore of the lake The Frog and Fearsome the Alligator were fishing together. “What a fine day for fishing…I can’t wait to catch a fish,” said The Frog. “Yah…after we catch them…we’ll eat them,” said Fearsome the Alligator. Soon Catfish Jack saw a worm floating in the water not noticing that it was attached to a hook. “Oh boy…a free worm,” cried Catfish Jack. Catfish Jack then grabbed the worm and soon he was caught. “Not again,”cried Mr. Otter and Snapper the Snapping Turtle. Mr. Otter and Snapper the Snapping Turtle then went tosave Catfish Jack, but it was too late he was caught by The Frog. “Wow, I caught a catfish…we’re going to have some good eats tonight,” said The Frog.“Oh rats,” said Catfish Jack. “Man I’m hungry…why don’t we cook him now…I brought my BBQ grill with me, shall we eat him,” said Fearsome the Alligator.“We’re grilling catfish tonight,” yelled The Frog. While Fearsome the Alligator and The Frog were preparing to eat Catfish Jack, Mr. Otter and Snapper the Snapping Turtle went to try and save him. “Okay…time to save our friend,” saidMr. Otter. Then Fearsome the Alligator spotted Mr. Otter and Snapper the Snapping Turtle and he then scared them off. “Get out of here or else we’ll eat you too,” yelled Fearsome the Alligator. Mr. Otter and Snapper the Snapping Turtle now were trying to think of a way to save Catfish Jack without becoming dinner themselves. “We need help,” said Snapper the Snapping Turtle. Soon Mr.Otter and Snapper the Snapping Turtle asked Toad andMouse if they could help them. “Oh how sad…your friend is going to be eaten…of course we’ll help you,” said Mouse. “But Mouse…how are we going to save their friend,” asked Toad. “I have an idea,” said Mouse. Then Toad and Mouse went up to see The Frog and Fearsome the Alligator. “Well, well, well, if it isn’t the two homosexuals….what the hell do you want,” asked The Frog. “Look, I will get you each $20 if you give us that catfish,” said Mouse. “$20 for our catfish…okay…I feel like hamburgers anyway,” said Fearsome the Alligator. So Mouse paid The Frog and Fearsome the Alligator each $20 and in return they gave him Catfish Jack. Mouse then released Catfish Jack back into the lake. “Thanks guys, if you didn’t come I would have been those two guys dinner,” said Catfish Jack. “No worries…now we are just going to continue enjoying this nice day,”said Mouse. Then Toad and Mouse hopped on their boat and continued their boat ride while Catfish Jack went back to swimming with Mr. Otter and Snapper the Snapping Turtle. And they all lived happily ever after!


The Shekys (Sheky 1, Sheky 2, Sheky3, and Sheky 4) vs. The Evil Clowns (Evil, Happy, & Sad)!

The Shekys (Sheky 1, Sheky 2, Sheky 3, and Sheky 4) were out pranking people when they soon met their competition in the prank war The Evil Clowns (Evil, Happy, & Sad). “You stupid clowns think you can beat The Shekys in a prank war…keep dreaming,” yelled Sheky 1. “Oh we’ll out prank you…we’re winning this war,” yelled Evil. Soon The Shekys (Sheky 1, Sheky 2, Sheky 3, and Sheky 4)and The Evil Clowns (Evil, Happy, &Sad) began pranking people in a never ending prank war. But soon both The Shekys (Sheky 1, Sheky 2, Sheky 3, and Sheky 4) and The Evil Clowns (Evil, Happy,& Sad) met their match in the prank war in The Short Term Memory LossFamily. When both sides tried pranking The Short Term Memory Loss Family, The Short Term Memory Loss Family forgot they were being pranked by them. They soon gave up, and The Shekys (Sheky 1, Sheky 2, Sheky 3, and Sheky 4) and The Evil Clowns (Evil, Happy, & Sad) then signed a treaty which ended their prank war. Now The Shekys (Sheky 1, Sheky 2, Sheky 3, and Sheky 4) and The Evil Clowns (Evil, Happy, & Sad) formed an alliance of pranksters the likes of which have never been seen before. The Shekys (Sheky 1, Sheky 2, Sheky 3, and Sheky 4) and The Evil Clowns (Evil, Happy,& Sad) are now allies and they are going to continue pulling pranks on people forever or until they get bored of doing pranks which ever comes first!


Coo-Coo Bird & Dingo Meet The Scared Leopard!

The Scared Leopard and Brabe the Dog were on vacation in Australia. “Why are we in Australia again,” asked Brabe the Dog. “We’re here to see my old friend Dingo, Dingo lives in the jungle so let’s go find him,” said The Scared Leopard. The Scared Leopard and Brabe the Dog finally made it to the jungle when they spotted Coo-Coo Bird & Dingo chasing each other. “Which one’s your friend,” asked Brabe the Dog. “The Dingo,” said The Scared Leopard. “You mean the orange dog or the chicken,”asked Brabe the Dog. “Hey Dingo,” yelled The Scared Leopard. Dingo then stopped chasing Coo-Coo Bird for a moment to say hi to his old friend. “Scared Leopard…how are you…long time no see right…BOO!” yelled Dingo. Then The Scared Leopard jumped in fear after Dingo said BOO! Dingo then began to laugh. “Why did you scare my friend,” asked Brabe the Dog. “Because he’s easy to scare…so who are you,” asked Dingo. “I’m his friend Brabe the Dog…I tried to teach him not to be such a fraidy-cat and meet new people…how did you two meet,” asked Brabe the Dog. “We went to college together,” said Dingo. “Oh so you two met in college…I never knew The Scared Leopard attended college,” said Brabe the Dog.“Actually, he dropped out of college before senior year,” said Dingo. “Why,”asked Brabe the Dog. “Because I got scared at a football game and ran into the field and bumped into the quarterback breaking his leg by accident thus we lost the championship and the dean expelled me,” said The Scared Leopard. “That was a weird story,” said Brabe the Dog. “Sorry, I have to go back to chasing Coo-Coo Bird…I must catch him,” said Dingo. “Why are you chasing that stupid bird again,” asked Brabe the Dog. “Because I…you know I really forgotten the reason why I was chasing him in the first place…funny I been chasing him for years and I forgotten why,” said Dingo. Then The Scared Leopard screamed.“What’s wrong now,” asked Brabe the Dog. “I just saw a huge bug,” screamed The Scared Leopard. “You mean the one that’s on your back,” said Brabe the Dog. Then The Scared Leopard looked at his back and saw the bug and he then passed out. Then Coo-Coo Bird flew down and ate the bug. “Hi Coo-Coo Bird, my friend is friends with your friend Dingo,” said Brabe the Dog. “Dingo isn’t myfriend…he’s just a guy who wants me for dinner,” said Coo-Coo Bird. “Oh yah,that’s why I been chasing him all this time…he’s food,” said Dingo. Then Dingo began to laugh and then Dingo attack Coo-Coo Bird. Dingo then continued to chase Coo-Coo Bird and Brabe the Dog woke up The Scared Leopard. “What did I miss,”asked The Scared Leopard. “Your friend Dingo is chasing that Coo-Coo Bird guy for no apparent reason and I really think he’ll never catch him,” said Brabe the Dog. “Oh…want to go to get something to eat,” asked The Scared Leopard.“Sure…should we invite Dingo,” asked Brabe the Dog. “Nah…let him chase that stupid Coo-Coo Bird…let’s go to that nice restaurant we saw on the way here,”said The Scared Leopard. Soon The Scared Leopard and Brabe the Dog left the jungle without saying goodbye to Dingo and went off to eat at a local restaurant. Dingo then gave up chasing Coo-Coo Bird for today and wondered where his friends went. “I wonder why they went…oh well…it’s getting late…I better get home and go to bed,” said Dingo. As Dingo was heading back home, Coo-Coo Bird dropped an anvil on his head. “Good night Dingo,” said Coo-Coo Bird.Coo-Coo Bird then flew away while Dingo lay knocked out after having an anvil dropped on his head. The Scared Leopard and Brabe the Dog then went to sleep in their hotel room when Dingo called The Scared Leopard. “Hello,” asked The Scared Leopard. “BOO!” yelled Dingo over the phone. Then The Scared Leopard screamed so loud that the whole city woke up!


Smart Raptor’s Sidekick Group Therapy!

“Man,sometimes I wonder…I mean he had a legendary sidekick before me and I always wonder…will Holly Dog always be better than me…can I become a legendary sidekick like her, then I realize…I don’t want to be a sidekick…I just want to be the star…,” said Woody Dog. Then Beardy, Donny the Duck, Hawk, Nick, Lewis the farter, Mr. Squirrel, Young One, Nickbike, Sheky 3, Mr.Bunny, Otto the Ostrich,Lenny Lynx, Gopt, Dingo, Chief Dumb-dumb, Peeligi,Camel, Kirk, Sam Soda, Gorilla #2, Lettuce, Brabe the Dog, Jag the Jaguar, Happy Thanksgiving Ghost, Boom, Rags the Raccoon, Kazuhiro Ryota, and Barack Blenny began clapping in support. “Thanks for sharing Woody…now fellow sidekicks do you relate to Woody’s story,” asked Smart Raptor. Beardy then raised his hand.“Yes Beardy,” said Smart Raptor. “Okay…first of all…have any of you been called the best friend of the main character,” asked Beardy. Then Donny the Duck,Hawk, Lewis the farter, Mr. Squirrel, Young One, Chief Dumb-dumb, Camel,Kirk, Lettuce, Brabe the Dog, Jag the Jaguar, Lenny Lynx, Gopt,Sam Soda and Rags the Raccoon all raised their hands at the same time. “Yeah,for those of you that raised their hands…just remember it’s all just a bunch of bullshit….I’ve been Spotty’s best friend for years and do I ever get to be the star…NO…he’s always getting work and when I get work it always has to be with him…he’s my not his best friend, I’m just his freaking sidekick,” yelled Beardy. “Right on brother,” said Hawk. “Now Beardy…I’m sure Spotty cares about you…you may be his sidekick but you must always remember…without a sidekick there is no star…alright now who else would like to share how they feel,” asked Smart Raptor. Nick then raised his hand. “Alright Nick you have the floor,”said Smart Raptor. “Thank you, now I hate the fact that I’m the sidekick of my sister….I mean her name is the freaking title of the book…I play an important part in the story too…why can it be called Faterella and Nick and not just her name…I just want some freaking credit,” asked Nick. “I know how you feel…my brother Atsushi Ryota thinks he’s better than me but he doesn’t act like he’s a sidekick as well…I mean…he doesn’t want to admit he’s a sidekick too…he just makes me feel like I’m his sidekick and not his brother…I thought we were partners man,” cried Kazuhiro Ryota. “Now is anyone else here the sidekick of sibling beside Nick and Kazuhiro Ryota,” asked Smart Raptor. Then Peeligi, Happy Thanksgiving Ghost, Boom, and Gorilla #2 raised their hands at the same time. “Good, now do those whose main characters aren’t your siblings but you feel they neglect you as their partner raise your hands,” said Smart Raptor. Then Nickbike, Sheky 3, Mr. Bunny, Otto the Ostrich, Lenny Lynx, Gopt, and Dingo all raised their hands at the same time. “Good…now since group is almost over does anyone have anything to share before you’re all dismissed,” asked Smart Raptor. Then Barack Blenny raised his hand. “Yes Barack Blenny,” said Smart Raptor. “Yah, my question is why are you here Smart Raptor,” asked Barack Blenny. “Well, because I’m a professional psychologist,”said Smart Raptor. “No that’s not it…you’re one of us aren’t you,” said Barack Blenny. “Look…I’m not a sidekick okay,” yelled Smart Raptor. “Relax, you’re among fellow sidekicks,” said Mr. Squirrel. “No, I’m not a sidekick…I’m the star of this short story…group is dismissed,” said Smart Raptor. “ONE OF US,ONE OF US, ONE OF US,” chanted Beardy, Donny the Duck, Hawk, Nick, Lewis the farter, Mr. Squirrel, Young One, Nickbike, Sheky 3, Mr.Bunny, Otto the Ostrich,Lenny Lynx, Gopt, Dingo, Chief Dumb-dumb, Peeligi,Camel, Kirk, Sam Soda, Gorilla #2, Lettuce, Brabe the Dog, Jag the Jaguar, Happy Thanksgiving Ghost, Boom, Rags the Raccoon, Kazuhiro Ryota, Woody Dog and Barack Blenny all at the same time. Then Smart Raptor sighed. “I hate my job,” said Smart Raptor.


Idiots Day at Jeff’s Comic Shop!

Jeff was bored waiting for customers to come to his comic shop. “Damn internet…kids today don’t want to buy comic books anymore…if this keeps up…I have to close my store…and this is the easiest job in the world,” said Jeff to himself. Then Eddy walked into the store and Eddy was also twitching. “Hello, my name is Eddy…and I get to buy one toy,” saidEddy. “Okay, action figures are over their now pick one and buy it then get the hell out of my store,” said Jeff. Eddy then grabbed a Super Dude action figure.“Okay, one mint condition Super Dude action figure…that’ll be $4,000 and will that be cash or check,” said Jeff. Eddy then gave Jeff a dime and Jeff sighed in frustration. “Okay, I need more money than just a dime,” said Jeff. “All had was this…can give me toy now,” screamed Eddy while twitching. “Get the hell out of my store,” yelled Jeff. Eddy just stood there twitching and then Jeff grabbed him and threw him out. “And don’t come back until you have more money,”yelled Jeff. A couple of hours pasted when Jeff finally got another customer…sadly it was Stupid Kid. “Hello, buy something or get out,” yelledJeff. “I have to go poop,” said Stupid Kid. “Bathroom’s for paying customers only,” said Jeff. Then Stupid Kid crapped his pants. “Now me don’t need poop no more,” said Stupid Kid. “Get out before you stink up my shop,” yelled Jeff.Stupid Kid left and a couple of hours passed before another customer came…sadly it was What Does This Do Cowboy. “Hello, buy something or get out,” said Jeff.“What does buy something do,” asked What Does This Do Cowboy. “That doesn’t make sense,” asked Jeff. “What does sense do,” asked What Does This Do Cowboy.“Do you have money or not,” asked Jeff. “What does money do,” asked What Does This Do Cowboy. “You’re an idiot,” said Jeff. “What does idiot do,” asked WhatDoes This Do Cowboy. “Just get out of here,” cried Jeff in frustration. “What does…,” asked What Does This Do Cowboy. Jeff then grabbed What Does This Do Cowboy and threw him out of his store. “Damn…what is this day of the idiots,”yelled Jeff. Then Spotty walked into the store. “Hey buddy…no dogs allowed…,”said Jeff. “Fine…you just lost yourself a paying customer…idiot,” said Spotty. Spotty then left. Jeff then sighed. “I guess I could always work at my father’s car dealership,” said Jeff to himself.


Silly Squad & Young Talent!

Silly Squad INC. was the #1 entertainment company of its class. They still do entertaining at birthday parties, TV shows, movies, internet clips,merchandising, a theme park, and “TheSilly Squad Channel” which is a subscription video on demand television service and it now has over 200,000 subscribers. They own both Shekys INC. and True Funny INC., which at a time were their biggest rivals. They also now own Bros. Ink and Lixey Bros. Studios. SoonSilly Squad INC.’s CEO Flea-Boy the Clown announced that Silly Squad INC. is now a public company and trades on the NYSE. Also Silly Squad INC. just acquired the Japanese animation film studio “Uncle Akira Productions” which made many successful Japanese cartoons and some of them have never been seen in America. Silly Squad INC. just also recently acquired rival media conglomerate Liarmun Media. Liarmun Media is an owner of 65 daily newspapers, 50 local independent television stations, and 30 local radio stations nationwide. With the acquiring of Liarmun Media, Silly Squad INC. is now one of the most powerful media conglomerates in the world today. Flea-Boy the Clown’s vision of making people laugh is now one of the most successful corporations in the world today. Now we go to a corporate meeting where Flea-Boy the Clown had just found out some very bad news. “What do you mean we are losing money, I just bought a Japanese cartoon studio three weeks ago, what is the problem now,” asked Flea-Boy the Clown. “It’s just that our company’s image isn’t so good any more, plus people are sick of Silly Squad, all we do are comedies and that gets old real quick,” said Igor. “Hold on, I have a trick up my sleeve, you know how our rival is making money off young musicians, I just signed a young up and coming musician a contract, come in here Mr. Sammy T,” said Flea-Boy the Clown. Then Sammy T walked into the board room. “You think a freaking gangster rapper will help the company’s image, rap music sucks,” said Lenny the Leopard. “I discovered Sammy T in a night club and he has some talent, so I thought he could be a star attraction for the Silly Squad and we’ll make Sammy T albums, we’ll make billions in the R&B music market,” said Flea-Boy theClown. “So what’s up Mr. Clown, when do I make more money, you better make me a star,” said Sammy T. “Again, rap music sucks, what are you freaking BET now,”said Lenny the Leopard. “Don’t make fun of BET bitch,” yelled Sammy T. ThenSammy T punched Lenny the Leopard. “Dude, oh man you’re going down blackie,”yelled Lenny the Leopard. Then Lenny the Leopard and Sammy T started fighting each other. “So ah…any other ideas,” asked Igor. “Hmmm, I guess I could find more young talent, now to my helicopter away,” said Flea-Boy the Clown. Now Flea-Boy the Clown was off to find young up and coming talent and he knew exactly where to look for new stars!

Flea-Boy the Clown flew all overHollywood and the country anywhere he would think young talent would be. First stop….a Starbucks in Hollywood. “Hello, I’m here at Starbucks looking for people who want to be Hollywood writers and write dramas, science fiction or anything that has nothing to do with comedy, are any up and coming Hollywood writers here,” asked Flea-Boy the Clown. A bunch of people raised their hands.“Okay, you guys come with me, from now on you won’t be tipping movie scripts in a Starbucks anymore,” said Flea-Boy the Clown. “Yah, I finally found someone who likes my scripts,” said one of the up and coming writers in the Starbucks.Soon Flea-Boy the Clown went everywhere to find young talent, he went to film schools, drama clubs, street corners and anywhere else a person would do anything to be famous would be. Soon Flea-Boy the Clown found dictators,writers, actors, musicians, animators, and any other struggling young talent.“Alright, all of you unknown people, I’m here to make you famous and in return you can help re-image Silly Squad, now any questions,” asked Flea-Boy the Clown.“Can I write for Silly Squad’s TV shows, I always wanted to make TV shows,”asked one of the struggling writers. “No, you focus on serious work, now let me see the scripts of you struggling writers,” said Flea-Boy the Clown. SoonFlea-Boy started reading movie scripts written by the young talent. “Okay, let’s make these scripts into movies, Silly Squad is reshaping its image,” said Flea-Boy the Clown. Now the Silly Squad will be helping themselves and undiscovered talent at the same time.

Soon Silly Squad began making new movies that weren’t comedies but now Silly Squad was making dramas, sci-fi, action,horror and any other film genre you can think of. Silly Squad’s record label now was record struggling musicians. And soon Flea-Boy the Clown’s idea of hiring young struggling talent worked. Silly Squad’s new movies were box office hits and some were even nominated for Oscars. And those struggling musicians and actors were now everywhere in the media. Soon those struggling young talents became celebrities over night. Silly Squad INC. was now making more money than ever, but then everything has a price. Soon those former struggling writers, dictators, and animators were hired by rival studios. Those former struggling actors were acting in movies made by rival studios. Plus those former struggling musicians signed with other record labels. Now Silly Squad was back to its old self, making TV shows and movies that were funny and starred members of the Silly Squad. But at least Silly Squad owns the rights to those movies created by the former struggling talent and they can make money off those movies for years to come. Now after these events young struggling dictators, writers, actors, musicians, and animators are always welcome to join the Silly Squad and make Flea-Boy the Clown money. But the Silly Squad will never die, it’s a too powerful corporation and it will do anything to make people entertained, no matter what!


Silly Squad & The Celebrity Fat Camp!

Coyote offered Flea-Boy the Clown a job in Coyote Corp Entertainment as Coyote Corp Entertainment vice president. Flea-Boy the Clown accepted Coyote’s job offer. It appears that the Silly Squad aren’t truly dead…they must take a five year break to make their fans happy. Long live the Silly Squad and may the reunite again! Plus former Silly Squad employees now work for Coyote Corp Entertainment. Those former Silly Squad members who now work for Coyote Corp include Billy Baiji, Mr.Bunny, Larry Lixey IV, Uncle “Anime” Akira, Ossum the Homey Opossum, and Fearsome the Alligator. Our story begins when an old friend of Flea-Boy the Clown visited Flea-Boy theClown’s office. That old friend was Igor. Igor is currently an unemployed redneck living in a trailer with his wife Judy Brown and their forty children.Judy Brown used to be a beautiful supermodel and the sex symbol for SillySquad…but now Judy Brown currently weighs 400 lbs. and Judy also has diabetes.“Hello Flea-Boy…I have a question for you…can I have a job,” asked Igor. “We’re not technically hiring right now in Coyote Corp Entertainment….sorry old friend,” said Flea-Boy the Clown. “But I need a job I have forty children to feed and my wife’s in the hospital and…,” cried Igor. “Wait…Judy Brown is alive…I thought you said she died in a heart attack,” said Flea-Boy the Clown.“I lied…my wife never did die okay…I lied about her death so she wouldn’t have to appear on your reunion show…but she is in the hospital…man if only she could lose a couple of pounds and….,” cried Igor. “Wait…did I here you have a problem dealing with a certain someone’s weight…,” said a mysterious voice. It was Coyote and he overheard the conversation between Flea-Boy the Clown and Igor.“Boss I was….,” said Flea-Boy the Clown. “Look…I like this idea of Igor working for Coyote Corp Entertainment…I also heard that Igor wrote most of the Silly Squad’s TV programs….Igor would you like to work as a writer for my movies andTV shows,” asked Coyote. “Hell yah…I would love to write again…I’ve been trying to write and publish a book…but I don’t have a lot of money to do so,” said Igor. “Good…Igor will be a writer for Coyote Corp Entertainment’s movies and TV shows…and I would also like to hire Judy Brown to be a host of her very own talk show on the Coyote Corp Network,” said Coyote. “But boss…Judy Brown is a fat ass and…,” cried Flea-Boy the Clown. “Look I have an idea of how Judy Brown can become sexy again…you see I once weighed 500 lbs. and I lost it all in only one week…,” said Coyote. “You once weighed 500 lbs. and you lost it all in only one week…but how,” asked Igor. “You see we celebrities get perks that the average Joe can’t get…one word…celebrity fat camp,” said Coyote. “Celebrity fat camp…what the heck is that,” asked Igor and Flea-Boy the Clown at the same time. “It’s basically a fat camp for celebrities who need to lose weigh without surgery…they have the best personal trainers and I wasn’t the only one who lost weight at the celebrity fat camps, names of celebrities that go to celebrity fat camp include Brad Pitt, Gwyneth Paltrow, Angelina Jolie, Lucy Liu…the list goes on and on…all of the people I mention were fat asses at one point but they lose weight so quick the media and the paparazzi never even know they were ever fat….I will pay for Judy Brown to go the celebrity fat camp and on the very last day of her one week I promise you she’ll lose the weight and look sexy again…do we have a deal…,” asked Coyote. “Sure…as long as me and my wife both have jobs again,”said Igor. Then Coyote and Igor shook hands. It now seems that Judy Brown is now going to a celebrity fat camp.

Judy Brown soon enrolled in the celebrity fat camp and her starting weight is 400 lbs. Other celebrities who are at the camp with Judy Brown are either heavier or little heavier than her. Super Dudette’s (from the Super Dudes movies) starting weight is 450 lbs. Cameron Diaz’s starting weight is 509 lbs. Cool Fox’s (from the Cool Fox movies) is 667 lbs. Justin Timberlake’s starting weight is 350 lbs. Jessica Simpson’s starting weight is 940 lbs. RickyMartin’s starting weight is 420 lbs. Kim Kardashian’s starting weight is 860 lbs. and her butt alone weighs 99 lbs. American Major League Baseball catcher A. J. Pierzynski’s starting weight 799 lbs. Each of these celebrities will basically workout like hell and attend counseling to lose weight quick. Jessica Simpson has already been to the celebrity fat camp 32 times but just as quickly as she loses it she gains it all back. Judy Brown hated being at the celebrity fat camp and she hated half of the personal trainers working there. Plus Judy Brown’s workout buddy is Kim Kardashian who’s now so fat that her even fatter ass is still stuck in the chair she sat on for counseling.At the celebrity fat camp the workout and fitness program was basically a bootcamp. But soon one week would pass and all the celebrities who went to the celebrity fat camp lost all the weight. Judy Brown lost 400 lbs. and she was now sexy again. Jessica Simpson also lost 940 lbs. and a couple of weeks later she gained 940 lbs. Now Judy Brown is a sex symbol again and through her celebrity fat camp Judy Brown became a heath nut and fitness guru along with hosting her own talk show. Judy Brown and Igor now are working in the entertainment industry again and they both couldn’t be happier. Plus Igor and Judy Brown’s forty children love living in their new mansion and they all love all the money their making. It seems that Coyote Corp Entertainment is giving new light on the former Silly Squad members. Flea-Boy the Clown was now a billionaire again and he couldn’t be any happy. But the future of Coyote Corp Entertainment and the entire Coyote Corp Corporation doesn’t look that bright. But that’s another story!