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Published June 18, 2012 More Info »
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Published June 18, 2012


Promethius.jpgThe expectedly ginormous mega-hit Prometheus opened to the thundering approval of everyone involved in it's production earlier this month as it promises to underwhelm the shit out of it's audience. 


One studio executive responded to questions regarding shaky continuity and over-acting by saying, "The title was just so awesome," and, "The preview was so fucking cool that we had to make a movie out of it." 


When asked about the technical elements of the film, the director, Ridley Scott said, "The effects were produced by a combination of thinking happy thoughts and the power that I've gained from the white wizard that I keep chained in my basement," adding, "Hey, I've made much better movies with Russell Crowe in them so go fuck yourself." 


After being probed about the giant, doofy, man-aliens that prove to be the film's antagonists, Scott remarked, "You shut your no talent mouth", and, "Blade runner was awesome, right?" 


Sigourney Weaver could not be reached for questioning amid concerns that a,  "comment might be misinterpreted as my involvement in this Holocaust of a movie."