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November 16, 2010

The squeal of a desperate Banshee starved for attention/affection.

At one point in my life I was dating a man, a good looking man, a funny man. The kind of man a lot girls would look at ,then look at me, and say "Good Job" and then shake my hand. 
Now I have the privilege of hanging out with a pants less man that hasn't seen a razor since he purchased this game. (11/9/10) I haven't heard a joke or hilarious comment that doesn't some how incorporate the word "newb" "poned" or "level up" in days. 
I consider myself an understanding girlfriend, and I'm willing to spend a friday watching him play his game while I surf funnyordie.com for a hilarious cock joke, but its been every day. EV EER EEH DAY! Taglich! (thats german) 
Last night he rolled over on me in my sleep. Usually I would be angry, but since its the closest thing to affection I've gotten in days I took it. I let him lay there snoring in my ear cutting off my air supply and I loved every minute of it. That was the moment it hit me! Call of Duty Black ops has made my relationship sooooo much better and much more interesting.
Before romantic gestures had to be big or else they were un-impressive. Taking me to dinner was bland, making me dinner a little gay. He had to take me to nice places, buy the nice wine in order to make me say "WOW" But now since I've been ignored and deprived of affection for days now pretty much anything he does has now become a grand gesture of chivalry romanticism. He told me we were going to go out with a co-worker of his on Saturday. I thought "This is how Kate Middleton must feel." If he ever gets around to shaving his facial hair I'm going to pounce him like a starved lion on a fat gazelle. Today He asked me "How my day was?" I felt like he said "I really like getting to know you so give me some insight into you, and our future together"
So Call of Duty Black Ops Thank you. Thank you for making girls like me appreciate our men for what they really are. Hairy, pants-less, beings just trying to prove their dominance over the other without having to show some cock. 
When Call of Duty becomes boring again, and all the men become aware of their erections, they're going to turn around and realize they have girlfriends. Then when they go to give that deprived girl a kiss she's been desperately praying for I think a few guys out there are going to receive an unexpected BJ. I know a certain someone who is going to get one as soon as he levels up just one last time for the night.