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June 28, 2011

A few things about the King of Rock & Roll that just ain't so.


Elvis never shaved and only had three haircuts in his entire life.

Elvis wore wristwatches as fashion accessories, but never used them to tell time. He believed that true time was non-linear.

Elvis would always erupt into hysterical laughter every time he saw someone on television dressed as a tube of toothpaste.

Elvis once paid a man to break both of Rip Taylor’s legs. His reasons are unknown.

Elvis served with an Israeli parachute regiment during the six-day war (1967).

Elvis’s name comes from the fact that he is descended from a family of elves.

Elvis attempted to sell his soul to the devil at age 15 in order to gain a long and fruitful musical career, but due to a clerical error, he actually sold the soul of Conway Twitty.

Elvis is the only human on record who was born with nine testicles. He later had five of them removed because he believed that four was his lucky number.

Elvis was licensed to practice medicine in three states and the Republic of Uruguay.

The King spent several months in the early 1970s living amongst the Laomiaotienduere people in the highlands of Minadanao in the Philippines. All of the people in the tribe born in the year following his departure bear a remarkable resemblance to Elvis. In the Philippines, the tribe is known as the “Love Me Tenders.”

The movie STAR WARS (1976) was based on an idea Elvis had originally developed as a star vehicle for himself. This is also true of ROCKY (1976), YENTL (1983) and THE LION KING (1994).


The political careers of John Lindsay and Jerry Brown were financed entirely by Elvis.

Though known as “The King,” Elvis was actually fifth in line of succession for the title of Emperor of Japan.

Elvis loved cats. He often stalked the halls of Graceland on all fours, catlike, killed mice with his hands and mouth and spoke the language of the cats.