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Published February 17, 2009
I POST THIS AS A CAPTION ON THE U.K SITE TODAY.... IT WAS ONE OF TWO.... IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO HAVE SOME FUN WITH OUR BRITISH BROTHERS, GO TO U.K. FUNNY VIDEOS AT BOTTOM OF PAGE.

FOUND... SENSE OF HUMOR. FOUND LOST AND SICK IN THE DUNGEON OF U.S. FOD...
PRESUMED BRITISH, HAS TATTOO OF UNION JACK OVER HEART, AND A VERY NICE LIKENESS OF A NUDE MARGARET THATCHER ON LEFT CHECK OF ASS.
SENSE OF HUMOR (SOH) SEEMS SICKLY AND EXHIBITS THE FOLLOWING SYMPTOMS;
PROTRUDING GUMS (DUE TO A STIFF UPPER LIP), BAD TEETH, VERY DEHYDRATED (DRY), DEMENSIA ( CANT REMEMBER PUNCHLINES), LAUGHS AT INAPPROPRIATE TIMES, LIKES TO CAPTION THE EVENING WEATHER REPORTS, ESPECIALLY SNOW.
ALSO HAS PECULIAR EATING HABITS. WHEN HUNGRY ASKS FOR JOINTS (WE SMOKE THOSE IN THIS COUNTRY), BUBBLE AND SQEEK (???), KIPPERS (?) SHEPHERDS PIE ( WE DISCOURAGE CANNIBALISM ) SCOTCH EGGS ( COULD NOT FIND A SCOTTISH WOMAN WILLING TO GIVE HERS UP), BANGERS AND MASH ( TO US, THATS A REDNECK NEW YAERS EVE PARTY). SO I MADE IT SOME SCAMBLED EGGS COVERED WITH TABASCO SAUCE, CHICKEN FRIED STEAK, GRITS, COLLARDS AND CORN DOGGERS. IDIOT WOULDNT EAT... WELL IF SOH WANTS LIVE IT WILL, ALTHOUGH I WOULDNT EAT THAT CRAP COLD MYSELF, AND IM NOT GOING TO WARM IT UP AGAIN.
SOH KEPT ASKING FOR FAGS AND A LUGH AND A JOKE, SO I FOUND SOME HILARIOUS RICHARD SIMMONS VIDEOS, HOWEVER SOH BECAME ANGRY. ONE OF OUR
CANADIAN FRIENDS TOLD US HE WAS USING A QUAINT COLLOQUILISM KNOW AS COCKNEY SLANG (HUH HUH, SHE SAID COCK) THAT STOOD FOR CIGARETTES. ALTHOUGH FOD COMMENDS THE USE OF DRUGS AND ALCHOHOL, IT PROHIBITS SMOKING. BUT BEING THE ALPHA MALE AT FOD I USED MY PULL AND WE GOT HIM SOME "FAGS". NEXT MORNING HE WAS FOUND IN THE MENS ROOM AND HAVING TAKEN THE TOBBACO OUT OF THE CIGS, IT WAS RE-ROLLING THEM USING TOILET PAPER. SPEAKING OF TOILET FASCILITIES, WHICH HE CALLS THE LOO, WE CANT MAKE IT STOP URINATING IN PUBLIC.
SOH IS NOT VERY SMART EITHER. WE HAD TO DUCT TAPE HIM TO HIS CHAIR DURING THE SUPERBOWL... HE KEPT YELLING HE WANTED TO WATCH FOOTBALL. WE TRIED TO SHOW HIM VIDEOS OF BENNY HILL AND MONTY PYTHON TO CHEER HIM UP BUT HE JUST KEPT YELLING "FAULTY TOWERS" (?) WE TRIED TO EXPLAIN TO HIM THAT THESE VIDEOS WERE DISKS, AND NOT TRANSMITTED, BUT HE DINT SEEM TO UNDERSTAND.
SOH IS BECOMING MORE SICKLY BY THE DAY, AT NIGHT IN HIS SLEEP HE YELLS "WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO ERIC BRISTOW, I LOVE THE OLD "CRAFTY COCKNEY".
THEN HE MUMBLES SOMETHING ABOUT GOING TO KNIGHTS BRIDGE AND STANDING UNDER THE GLASS CROSSOVER (?). SOH IS VERY DEPRESSED AND HE'S STARTING TO BRING US DOWN.
PLEASE... PLEASE COME AND CLAIM YOUR SENSE OF HUMOR, WE ARE REALLY WORRIED ABOUT IT, AND DOES NOT FUNCTION WELL IN OUR SOCIETY. IF YOU DONT COME TO CLAIM IT, AND SOH DIES, I WILL BILL YOU FOR THE FUNERAL.
SO IF YOU DONT GET IT... WE DONT WANT THE WANKER ( SOH SEEMS TO CALL EVERYTHING BY THIS NAME ) AND WILL NOT BE HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR ITS FUTURE, SAFETY, HEALTH, OR HAPPINESS...

YOURS, IN THE HUMOR YOU DONT SEEM TO GET,

PHUKUHP
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