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March 24, 2015
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The internet loves Vin Diesel, or at least that’s what he’s going to tell his children.

Vin Diesel recently named his newborn baby Paulina as a tribute to his Fast and the Furious costar Paul Walker. Soon enough young Paulina will grow up, request a computer, run a very simple search on her father’s name, and very quickly pile up a list of photos that will make her say, “What’s this, Daddy?”

Below are 13 such photos along with what we imagine Diesel might try and say about them to calm his uneasy child.


Vin Diesel Gun.jpg

“It’s just a promotional photo from one of Daddy’s movies.”
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Vin Diesel Pineapple.jpg

“I like pineapples a lot, I guess.”
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VIn Diesel Tiny Head.jpg

“This is Photoshopped. Not even Daddy works out this much.”
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“Next.”
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VIn Diesel Woman.jpg

“Next.”
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“Oh, this one’s easy. Daddy loves watching people beat each other to death.”
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Vin Diesel Conan.jpg

“In the year 2000 … haha. Google it.”
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Vin Diesel Mona Lisa.jpg

“Wait, did you make this? Who made this?”
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Vin Diesel Pasta Stilts.jpg

“Next.”
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Vin Diesel Bieber.jpg

“I had Bieber fever … haha. Google it.”
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Vin Diesel Himalayan.jpg

“I have no idea what the f-ck this is.”
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Vin Diesel Mailbox.jpg

“The Diesel always delivers … Oh no, baby, don’t cry.”
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“I had this one commissioned. It’s my GIF to you. Now go to bed.”
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