Hello, my followers. As you know I have been put into jail today by the secular people. But MY people: just like the Apostle Peter was led to freedom by an angel, my jail bars will be loosened enough for my escape. All I have to do is pray and my angel will come. But that would be cheating. Hence, I will seek my unjust punishment just like Jesus did. So, please do not attempt to break me out of jail today at 121 Lee Ave, Morehead, KY 40351, Cell 10. If you happen to enter the Rowan County Jail, the negro guard, Jesuquan, has her keys at the left side and drinks coffee every hour. If you buy a little bear tranquilizer, you should be able to sneak some into her coffee.
Your Idol and Future Saint,
P.S. Pastry donations and flowers would be appreciated. And isn’t that picture of me GREAT!? :D xoxoxoxoxo