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Published January 05, 2012 More Info »
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Published January 05, 2012

I love sex. Simply put it’s the greatest thing out there. Folgers can go fuck itself, the best part of waking up is the smell of sex and a girl sitting on my face. I’ll find a way to have sex whenever possible, as long as she’s hot.

This has lead me into some crazy situations, but one major realisation, guys in my generation are such gaping tampon filled vaginas they’ll never understand the joys of being a man to its full extent.

It’s time to start acting like we have testosterone again. I’m not talking about reverting back to cavemen, but there was a time when we could break a dude’s nose then go back inside the bar and put on our suit jacket and cuff links and keep drinking. Nowadays when I threaten someone for looking at my date wrong they piss themselves quicker than Tiger Woods with a porn star in his shower. Take your testicles back from your mothers purse and take a hook to the jaw. I promise after the first 10 you don’t feel it anymore. There is no better feeling than asking your dry cleaner to get the blood stains out of your three button Hugo Boss, whether it’s your own blood or not.

It’s not necessarily just the lack of fighting that’s the issue, it just shows a serious lack of bravery in this generation. Men no longer stand up for what they think is right, they’d rather sit on their couch and bitch about it to their bros.

Guys in my generation think it’s fine to gulp Malibu and dance to shitty house music all night, it’s degrading to those of us who still piss standing up. In clubs it’s about money and flash, which is no challenge, I know, I’ve got both and club girls love me. But, finding a gorgeous girl in a bar and talking to her, while everyone else just stares, takes nuts. Something that those pants you wear while grinding on some skank to “Moves like Jagger” don’t allow you to have. These pussies I’m surrounded by would rather rely on money they don’t have than face rejection or learn to be charming. You know you’re a real man when you can have a girl smack you across the face and reject you one moment, and the next have her trying anal for her first time. Stop relying on the shallowest shit possible. Learn to be a man of substance and interest, or at least lie till she thinks you’re one. As far as drinking fruity drinks? Real men get hangovers, wake up and go to work the next day without complaining. Go to a bar and order a fucking Stinger, you’re welcome.

Men under twenty five have fallen victim to putting the pussy on such a pedestal the fucking organ sits on top of the Parthenon. Its a sad state, I share the same sexual organs as those that will now hold a purse outside of the bathroom for a chick and use the word “tinkle” I’m not exaggerating here, I’ve seen it. Guys, its time to wake up, women out number us three to one, we shouldn’t be revering vagina like its the all seeing Eye of Sauron. Its something we like to put our penis in, and trust me if you’re good at it, she won’t complain. Sex is fun and everybody wants it, no matter what society tries to say.

If a chick is acting prude don’t see it as a challenge and try to pursue it. Instead go find someone else and let the first broad know that no one is going to stand for that shit anymore, its 2012. Try calling a girl doll face and slapping her ass, most women find it funny now-a-days and so should you. If women wanted a vagina they’d become a lesbian or learn to lick their own.

So in my opinion, its time we start realising we have testosterone for a reason. Being a man used to be a playground of sex, violence, bravery, and putting in a hard days work. What happened? Where did the calluses on our hands go? Take a good hard look in the mirror (without tucking your dick behind your legs for once) and think about how much better your life would be if you acted like a man again.

Hit me up on twitter, @ProSexTips .

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