or
Published June 30, 2008 More Info ยป
1 Funny Votes
0 Die Votes
89 Views
Published June 30, 2008

i have been sick for five days, but today is the worst so far. hopefully that means this virus, or whatever, is in it's death throes. using the last of its microbes or other such nonesense for one last feeble attempt to take over my body. everytime i move i get a head rush and my sinuses feel like they want to escape from my skull. dayquil has again made functioning in reality possible for me. but just barely. hopefully my manager will understand and let me skip my second shift today...as much as i need the money i'd still rather get some rest and have some comfort than an extra $50.

my fingers start to tingle if a type for more than a couple sentances consecutively and i think the mucus in my sinuses is affecting my vision. all i want to do is put my head down and go to sleep...

but enough of this self-pity.


from my deck i can see into many windows around the neighborhood. one of these windows belongs to a hooker. she's kind of old (she could be 50 and looks like shit, or she could be 35 and looks like death), and not very sexy, but she must be a true professional because she has a very steady stream of clients from all parts of the social spectrum.

in the late evening hours (when the light first gets dim enough for me to see into her window), her clients are generally what you would expect for a toothless crack whore. dirty looking black men who leave their overstuffed shopping carts out in front of the building. oozing garbage onto the sidewalk. older men from the neighborhood and men with obvious handicaps are also among her first clients of the night. these visitations never last very long and are never entertaining. well, no, that's a lie, watching these men drag themselves up to her place like they're goin to their last meal, and then leave with that certain spring in their step in amusing, but past that, there's nothing interesting happening at this point in the day.

but when i go out on my deck after midnight. and i look up to her window and see her red light blazing (and yes, she doea have a red light), i know there's a good chance i'll be entertained for at least the length of a marlboro 100.

i've seen white guys in beamers and bentleys pull up to her building and head up the stairs to her abode. i've seen super-ballin' black dudes, who i know for a fact could go to most any club in the city and find young hot pussy for the price of a couple drinks, rush into the room with such excitement that they were barely in the door before they had their pants off.

i mean, i know sex is great and all, but she must be doing something amazing to keep these guys coming back...either that or she is super-duper cheap...possibly both.

now, i have seen her around the neighborhood. i've stood in line at KFC in front and behind her. i found myself standing next to her on the subway once even. but i still haven't found the balls to talk to her. it's not like i have something against hookers. i knew plenty at my hotel job. i was even quite friendly with a couple (no, not THAT friendly, though it was tempting sometimes). i think i'm worried about talking to her because then she'll know i can see into her place from my deck, and she'll probably close the curtain. which would suck. also, if i start asking the kind of question i want to ask she'll think either i'm a cop or i'm competition. and i've seen her pimp, and i don't want him thinking i'm anything but the pathetic little white boy who just moved in one street over. he is a badass.

that's it. i'm too fucking snotty and uncomfortable (it is sooooooo humid here) to take this any further. i'll leave you with a written illustration (haha oxy-moron) of my new favorite neighbor.

imagine a cuban rhea pearlman, but much thicker from the waist up (skinny legs, however) and the hair of the original oracle from the matrix movies. i'm 80% certain she's missing at least two of her front teeth. and she's almost always wearing these dresses that resemble those oversized t-shirts that women use as nightshirts...but she wears them everywhere.


okay, that's it. i'm gonna go jump around for a while. hopefully i'll loosen up some of this mucus so it can drain down my throat and into my stomach...cause that's really good for me you know...

Advertisement
Advertisement

From Around the Web