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April 24, 2015

Hooters But With Men Restaurant to Open, Owner Explains Why America Needs This


Tallywackers, a new restaurant opening in the Dallas area, plans to feature scantily clad, attractive hunk men as servers, similar to the Hooters model with the genders switched. You might assume that, with restaurants selling sex alongside crappy food in decline, now is a weird time for a restaurant like this to open. The owner on the other hand disagrees as you can read in his press release from this morning.

From: Vincent “Pally” Jergins. Founder, Owner, CEO of Tallywackers Restaurant LLC.

Get ready man-body lovers because you’re new favorite restaurant is about to open in the greater Dallas area!

Do you ever see your husband go to Hooters to ogle chesty women and get jealous? Do you ever want to look at a penis bulge while chowing down on some kicking’ hot chicken wings? Would you be happy if there was a restaurant where shirtless men both took your order and also brought out your food on trays? Would you like men with big arm, shoulder, and back muscles to be walking around, chatting nicely, or leaning on a bar checking their phone while you and your friends from work eat lunch? How would you like shaved men with deliberate haircuts to flirt with you when you order a footlong hot dog off of a laminated, easy-to-clean menu? Do you get hungry when you see hunks or horny when you eat hamburgers?

Then guess what, Tallywackers has you covered.

We’ve got plenty of men who you will assume have big penises in their pants working to take your food and drink orders. We have numerous beefcakes who are willing to make flirtatious eyebrows with you and your work friends at lunch. And we’ve got plenty of soda, beer, water ready for you to drink after you overheat from seeing men with abs and pecs (unlike your husband’s flabby beer body) bring you plate after plate of family style french fries!

Does that sounds good to you? Well that’s not all…

We do parties. We do drink specials. We do lunches for you and your work friends. But most importantly, we do hot men talking to you and bringing you food!

Tallywackers, why let the gross weirdos who go to Hooters have all the fun?