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June 04, 2011

Plans for the opening of a dinosaur themepark in Tipton.

World's first dinosaur zoo set for West Midlands

Plans are afoot to open the world's first multi-million pound real life 'Jurassic Park' at Tipton, in the West Midlands.

Property developer and former Councillor John Cobblers unveiled his plans yesterday at a special press conference. And if his ambitious scheme gets the go ahead, dinosaurs could be returning to Tipton after a million year absence.


Mr Cobblers admits that the idea came to him after seeing the blockbuster film 'Jurassic Park' on DVD recently. "Mrs Cobblers and I were most impressed, but we believe Tipton can go one better than Hollywood and create the real thing, here in the West Midlands."

Ballroom Blitz

Experiments to recreate giant dinosaurs, extinct for millions of years, are already well advanced. "We hope that by crossing various existing animals with each other we can bypass the need for revolutionary advances in genetic science. For example, my wife has suggested that by crossing an ostrich with a tortoise and perhaps a frog we could achieve something not unakin to a dinosaur."

Wig Wam Bam

If all goes according to plan Tipton Jurassic Park will open its doors to the public this August. "I have already written to Sir David Attenborough who stars in the film, asking him to perform the opening ceremony", Mr Cobblers announced. A site has been chosen on derelict land adjacent to a garden centre belonging to Mr Cobbler's brother-in-law and the first dinosaurs could be released there as soon as the area has been fenced.


Mr Cobbler's application for a real life dinosaur zoo goes before the town's planning committee next Thursday, and they are bound to weigh up the possible dangers associated with real life dinosaurs against the undoubtable benefits to the tourism that such a scheme would offer. Residents in nearby Walsall have already expressed fears that escaped dinosaurs could pose an additional safety threat to children, on top of the seemingly unstoppable terror caused by local joy riders.


Last night Mr Cobblers was able to confirm rumours circulating among neighbours that one dinosaur has already been successfully created in make-shift garage-laboratory adjoining his home in Cedar Gardens. "I am pleased to say that Mrs Cobblers and I have succeeded in crossing an armadillo and chinchilla with the extracts of a pine cone to get a small stegosaurus. A few problems have arose but we hope to unveil it in the near future.