Dear Malia Obama,
We hope you are enjoying your historic trip to Havana, Cuba. It sucks that your parents and your pesky little sister have to be on the trip with you, but it probably is nice the ‘rents are footing the bill. You know, you’re situation is not too different from another young woman who once visited Havana with her parents and younger sister. In fact, you’re two years older than Katey Miller, the protagonist in the the critically acclaimed (editors note: source?) Dirty Dancing Havana Nights. In that movie she falls in love and dances very sexily with Javier who is played by the perfect man, Diego Luna.
Have you seen the film? It’s a contemporary version of the boring old Dirty Dancing that is no longer relatable to young hip people like us. Plus it stars Diego Luna, the world’s sexiest yet most delicate man. You should watch it.
Assuming you paused reading this letter at that command and demanded the official White House movie streamer to download (legally, sure) Dirty Dancing Havana Nights and now you get why this movie is so great (Diego Luna) we only wish you one thing on your trip: We hope you have the time if your life. Also, feel free to print this out and frame it.