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January 10, 2017
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Can we ever bring "senor_laptop" to justice?

We have obtained a CLASSIFIED list of codenames of the individual hackers responsible for the cyber attacks against the DNC during the presidential election. We do not yet know their true identities, but according to various United States intelligence agencies, these are the aliases of RUSSIA’S TOP 30 MOST DANGEROUS HACKERZ:

  • datgoose
  • giga.tit
  • RAMrod
  • urlilcuzin
  • digitalluverboi
  • kewl.kat
  • HACK-N-SACK
  • HACK-N-SUCK
  • NyTeLyFe
  • mouzetrap
  • piss-stix
  • le-probe
  • 0.needle
  • wi-finderz-keeperz
  • h0neydr0p
  • s1mon/garfucken
  • keigels+lox
  • senor_laptop
  • DoNkEyBoNg
  • king.of.horse
  • mr.dolce-dolce
  • kidnee stone
  • manpurse
  • sams-hung
  • sir-typey-type
  • b@ckdoor
  • cat.shat
  • knife.in.the.sink
  • dark-plug
  • HACK-YR-SACK

If you see any of these usernames on the world wide web, cyber surf the other direction as fast as you can.

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