or
93 Funny Votes
17 Die Votes
4,116 Views
Published September 13, 2010
It's rare that I, or anyone, gets the chance to say this, but...

Good news, pedophiles!

If child molesters are looking for a change of scenery, they should look no further than southern California, where the San Luis Obispo Sheriff's Department has proven themselves to be completely inept at being a Sheriff's Department.

Last week in their attempt to take down sexual predators, they issued a completely serious warning about Pedobear. Yup, the popular internet meme that exists solely for the entertainment of nerds on message boards (myself included) is apparently a major threat to the safety of children.

According to MSNBC.com:

"The San Luis Obispo County Sheriff's Department is warning parents about a disturbing new phenomenon made popular by pedophiles and sexual deviants.

The Pedo Bear began as an online Japanese cartoon character, and is known for his "lecherous nature" towards prepubescent children.

Recently, pedophiles have adopted the bear as a mascot.

Although there have been no reported sightings of the image on the Central Coast, individuals dressed in the bear costume and car decals have been seen in Southern California.

Local law enforcement cautions parents to be aware of the image, particularly at public events. For concerns about the image, contact the Sexual Assault Felony Enforcement division of the sheriff's department at 805-781-4550."

Oh remember when I mentioned their ineptitude? This line (pedo)bears repeating: "pedophiles have adopted the bear as a mascot." Oh, San Luis Obispo County Sheriff's Department. You are dumb. You are really dumb. For real. Sure, pedophiles are now trying to alert everyone to their presence with a mascot. OBVIOUSLY. "Listen up, fellow child molesters. You know we're doing a really shitty job of? Drawing attention to ourselves as we commit the worst possible crime known to man. Let's rectify that."

Anyway, it gets better, as there's a news report, with REAL sightings. And by "real," I mean "pictures taken at Comic Con where everyone was keenly aware that it's all a joke because they're not complete morons."


Oh, and it continues to get better, with these actual Public Safety Information Bulletins that were obtained by Gawker. The title? "A Seemingly Innoncent Menace: An Introduction to PEDO BEAR." Amazing.

Internet 1, Real Life 0.
Advertisement
Advertisement

From Around the Web