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February 03, 2017
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"It's like I don't even know her anymore."

There’s a lot of controversy around this most recent election. People protesting. People unfriending each other on Facebook. Family members disowning each other (my parents still won’t speak to me). But the worst of it didn’t happen for me until 3:18am last Thursday when my favorite porn star, Mirandi Trixxx, retweeted something in support of the other candidate. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. Mirandi was perfect in every way. Her butt.

But now she’s tweeted this meme that was so far to the other side I wasn’t sure how to process it. And it wasn’t even one of those memes that everybody’s sharing either. It was one of those, “how did she even find that, she must be DEEP into her beliefs” memes. I mean, did she make this? No,it’s a retweet.

I immediately hovered over the “Unfollow” button, but I couldn’t. What if she tweets another picture of her butt? What if she puts out a Snapchat of her butt? Do I cancel my subscription to her site? Yes, I know that porn is everywhere and freer than our country ever will be, but I subscribed to www.miranditrixxxbutt.com because I believed in her. Butt.

But now I don’t know what to believe. It’s like I don’t even know her anymore.We’ve been through SO. MUCH. together. It’s like, did my clicks, downloads, swipes, my STROKES mean nothing to her? Was all of that a lie? Have I been living a lie? Was her butt ever real? When I used to see her butt before, it felt welcome. Now her butt just makes me think of the hole she left in my heart.

Okay, fine, it’s been a week and I haven’t stopped downloading her videos. What does that say about me? Am I a terrible person?! No – I think it makes me bipartisan… Butt-partisan, if you will… I’m reaching across the aisle… to grab the lotion and tissues. I’m making sure there’s no video left behind. This will go down as the new Great Compromise. I’m not a republican or a democrat, I’m a Mirandi Trixxx’s Butt fan.

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