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Published September 26, 2012 More Info »
    When I grow up I want to be a travelling Billy Joel impersonator, and because I look like a hobbit I have decided to be known as Billyjoel Baggins. Here's a sneak peek at my first and probably only hit single, "It Started In the Shire".  To give this some context, you should probably listen to the instrumental version in the background, which you can do so by clicking here. Give it 30 seconds before it kicks in, then all the lyrics synch up. For some reason Billy Joel takes the opportunity to ditty every couple of lines, he is really fond of his own tune I gather, so the key is reading it fast and appreciating the loose rhyming scheme and not taking your eyes off the page ever, to know your place in the song. Thank you for making my dreams come true.    "IT STARTED IN THE SHIRE" (To the tune of "WE DIDN'T START THE FIRE")     Bilbo Baggins, just a guy, hobbit hole, quiet life,  Sips on some tea, eats jam and scones, smokes tobacco In walks Gandalf, Ian McKellen, has a cool plan, Danny Ocean,  Rob a cave, be real brave, a saga to behold   It all starts in The Shire  It's a crazy journey An unexpected journey   Recruits Oin, Dori, Ori, Gloin, Kili, Dwalin, Bifur, Bofur, Bombur, Nori, Balin, Fili Thorin Oakenshield and Catherine Zeta-Jones Raid a cave, act real brave, do some hiking, trick a dragon, Three-act saga, lots of treasure, Peter Jackson, great director, Not the one from your uncle's cigarettes   It all starts in The Shire  It's a crazy journey That spans half a century Throw a ring in the fire  In the pits of Mordor To get rid of Sauron   Martin Freeman, "The Office", Tim, Jim, John Krasinski  Wants to marry Mandy Moore, wedding day obstacle course Courtesy the man from "Flubber", before John makes her his other,  Robin Williams, a priest, Kelsey Grammer as a Beast Frasier, Dr. Crane, once supporting, now main  The show somehow outlived "Cheers", it was on eleven years Hey Norm, "License to Wed", funny poster, in a bed,  The seventh best film of all time after all the Tolkien ones   Gangsters straight outta the Shire, There's a fire burning, And some poems they're learning,  A liberal use of poetry, He wishes he was taller, That he was a baller.   Flash forward, some odds years, Baggins' nephew dear, Frodo, given the ring, told to destroy that thing Sam Gamgee, gardner friend, trusted sidekick,  Magical bread, Gandalf forms a crew again To defeat Christopher Lee, call up Pippin and Merry, Substance abuse, Orcs, riders and Ringwraiths, Oh my dear, so precious, you make my voice go hoarse Killed a man, fishing trip, Gollum, Smeagol, nipple slip Two Towers, Fellowship, a giant eye that means business,  Good archery, Legolas, hey, you shall not pass!    The daughter of Steven Tyler Plays a girl named Arwen Who kissed Viggo Mortensen Another girl named Eowyn You fool, no man can kill me But she ain't not no man   Gandalf the Grey, then White, very epic laundry day,  Pippin, Merry, forced to go their seperate ways Reminds me of "The Notebook" some, "Why didn't you write me?",  "I did, you're dumb", Ryan Gosling, handsome man, in favor of a shirt ban Hugo Weaving, from "The Matrix", Gimli loves that fucking axe, Talks about it every day, how about some body spray?    Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon Can you link "Lord of the Rings" To Paul McCartney from "Wings"? "Se7en" starring Morgan Freeman She had ribbons of red Imma get her pregnant   Gulf of Lune, Dawson's Creek, rhymes with show star Van Der Beek,  Katie Holmes, Suri Cruise, "Rain Man", Hoffman "Bring me Peter Pan", "Are you trying to seduce me, ma'am?",  Simon and Garfunkel, "Did I do that?" said Steve Urkel, Climbing mountains, fighting wars, then a giant birdie thing, Saves their lives, Gollums dies, goodbye to that stupid ring The vollyeball scene from "Top Gun", trees run like a forest run, Rest in peace Boromir, one does not simply walk into Mordor!   It all starts in the Shire  One Ring to rule them and One ring to find them Events transpired in the Shire A saga eighteen hours long A journey just like that song Oh the movie never ends it goes on, and on, and on, and on...         
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