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-There she is... India. It's as beautiful as I dreamed. 
-Sir, I'm not too sure this is India.
-Nonsense. Shall I go grab us some curry?
-Mr. Columbus, if this is India where are the rubies? The jewels?
-You sure have a lot to learn. Look, there are the natives. I'm sure they can point us to a local curry shop. 
-Their skin is a different color than had been described to us. 
-Probably covered in red curry. 
-Sir, that's… kind of offensive. 
-To who? They love curry. It's a compliment. 
-They appear to be drawn towards our horses. 
-Hi there!!! We just got off that boat. Umm, how do you say, umm... BOAT…Jeez. It's like they don't even speak English. 
-...
-THE BOAT 
-It seems they want to touch the horses. Maybe use that. 
-Smart... IF WE GRANT YOU PERMISSION TO PET OUR HORSEYS, PERHAPS YOU COULD DIRECT SOME HUNGRY CHAPS TO YOUR LOCAL--
-Did he just die? Oh my god they're all dying. 
-Well this sucks. I told like 30 people I'd bring them back some curry. 
-Shall we go home?
-No. It'd be too embarrassing. Let's see how this plays out. YES. KEEP PETTING. 
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