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October 15, 2009


Git-R-Done!! I just wanna throw out a big THANK YOU to all the people that have picked up my CD “Tailgate Party” so far. It debuted at #1 on the comedy chart and came in at #70 on the pop Top 200 Billboard charts. For a comedy CD to make the top pop chart is awesome let alone make the top 75. I wanna thank everyone that went out to get it the first week. All the positive feedback has been awesome. Once again thanks for checkin' it out and when I told ya it's one of my funniest, I didn’t lie.

Let me right now take a moment to make a serious confession, I've been sleeping with members of my staff. What's worse is I’m self employed!! BADABING!! (now that’s funny)  I just had a bunch of dental work done. I hate the dentist.  Getting me to go is like pullin’ teeth! (insert rim shot) I was in more pain than a prisoner at Gitamo watching the Raiders game. I gotta say though, my hygentist was cute. I was droolin' BEFORE I got a shot of Novocain! I told the dentist I wanted to talk about implants. He said “Your teeth really don’t need implants.” I said, “I'm not talkin’ teeth I'm talking the rack on the hygentist!” Good night nurse! Her nipples came in the room 20 seconds before she did! My buddy Dewayne is an idiot. He actually had to go to the dentist to get some wisdom teeth put back in! Ok enough of these lame dental jokes.

How about this for a joke…. Al Gore. He was challenged this week about his claim polar bears are in danger and there are less polar bears now then anytime in our history. He was challenged by an environmental journalist that said that wasn’t true and that actually the population continues to grow. Al Gore made a joke about it but never answered the question. To find out what a true fake Al Gore is check out this documentary… Not Evil, Just Wrong. Check out the site at: NotEvilJustWrong.com

Now on to something less scary than Al Gore, Halloween. This year I'm gonna wear a skeleton costume with a skull mask and go as Al Davis! (OK, that’s a football joke. If ya know who Al Davis is  you're  laughing your ass off.)  I hate these overpriced haunted houses. My wife and I went with some friends to one last year and the only thing scary was the price to get in! My brother's wife scared the hell out of him last year… She showed him her credit card bills! I'm gonna try and teach my kids the real meaning of Halloween this year. Some kids just don’t get it. Its not just about attaining as much candy as possible, its about lighting bags of poop on somebody’s front porch and peein’ in their pumpkins. Where has it gone awry! I felt bad last year. The neighbor kid came over with this huge scary head costume and I told him that was the coolest Frankenstein lookin’ head I'd ever seen. He went on to tell me he wasn’t trick or treating but he had lost his dog and the reason his head was like that was because of a peanut allergy and he was all swollen up. (I really don’t know if any of this is funny but I thought I'd throw it out there.)

One other thing….. Thanks so far for attending my shows. They have been awesome so far and I'm havin a blast. I'll see ya at an arena or a theater near y'all soon. I taped a show for the Bio channel a few months ago. It was supposed to air in mid November but they've moved it up to this week.  It airs Wednesday night October 14 at 10PM Eastern. I haven’t seen it yet so I'm watchin it for the first time with y'all. I hope ya like it and thanks to the folks at Biography for asking me to do it. It is an honor to be featured on there.

See y'all down the road, thanks for buying my CD “Tailgate Party” and remember the DVD comes out on Comedy Central and in stores in January. Also, if ya get a chance, check out my charity at GITRDONEFOUNDATION.ORG and see all the cool things weve been able to do so far!

Larry The Cable Guy