If you have not read Vanity Fair's profile of Randy and Evi Quaid, please do so. The entire article reads like a couple's squabble over who wears the crazypants in the relationship (Evi wins by a hair).
While the whole thing is chock full of insane goodness, the highlight clearly is their ongoing paranoia regarding the "Hollywood Star Whackers," the obviously real organization out to get them, Jeremy Piven, and Lindsay Lohan. Their hits already include Heath Ledger and David Carradine, clearly taken out to collect residuals (from Kung Fu, perhaps?)
Anyway, everything Quaid says gold. But clearly, the quotes are much more fitting when you picture them coming from the mouth of his character from the Vacation movies, Cousin Eddie.