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Published October 11, 2009
1 Blink repeatedly when someone is speaking to you as if You are listening intently.
 2 Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeeep Bip..."
3 tap loudly on your watch with your pen while talking to others.
 4 Speak only in a "robot" voice. 5 Blow your nose when some one is eating.
6 Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one else will "eat your food " !
7 Name your dog "Dog."
8 Name your Cat "Dog."
 9 Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training."
10 Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace."
11 Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.
12 Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a "spider person."
 13 Drum on every available surface.
 14 Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page
 15 Set alarms for random times.
16 Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.
 17 oNlY tYpE lIkE tHiS a MiXtUrE oF uPpEr AnD lOwErCaSe 18 dont use any punctuation either
19 Repeat everything someone says back to them, but in the form of a question.
20 Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.
21 Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.
22 Tell people they are just jealous that "the voices" only speak to You, not them.
23 Chew on pens that you've borrowed.
24 Wear a LOT of cologne.
25 Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a "magic picture."
6 Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.
 27 Never make eye contact.
28 Never break eye contact.
29 Make appointments for the 31st of September.
30 Invite lots of people to other people's parties.
31 Unplug/disconnect Your Boss's phone extension.
 32 Go out of your way to be nice and charming, and make a big show of getting your wives friends together to celebrate her special day. Make sure to invite the friends who are not really friends but friends that she's always competing with and wanting to impress. After dinner, make a great toast announcing what a unique person your wife is.Call Your wife Pet Names in Front of Her Friends like "Hairy Shoulders" or "Big Knees" and then give her a package of Beano and announce "So there will be no gas".
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