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January 07, 2016
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It's tech Christmas out in Las Vegas, and we've gathered up some of the the presents being unwrapped.

The International Consumer Electronics Show aka CES aka a debutante ball for robots is currently going on in Vegas, baby! The annual trade show is known for introducing the world to new products and technological advancements. As it is when humans build things, some of them are incredible and some are incredibly stupid. Here’s what’s being showcased at CES 2015 so far, that are scattered along the scales of stupidity, simplicity, and super-cool-idity.


Creepiest Product

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Why not start this review off with the most unsettling product at CES this year? Here is a little robot called Mother that watches you sleep and monitors you at all times. What does it monitor, you might ask. To which the creators of Mother respond, what doesn’t it monitor! This little ghost nub will detect how well you are sleeping to when your kids come home. For being so aware, there seems to be no self awareness in how scary it would be to see those little red eyes in the middle of the night!

Send In The Drones

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The Chinese company Ehang Inc.unveiled a human-carrying drone earlier this week. It looks like a tiny one person helicopter and seems like it’d be great at cutting out the annoying hassle of airport travel but also the comforting stability of having, you know, someone who knows how to fly a plane with you on a plane.

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Here is a drone from the future that is kind of lame. The paper airplane drone that allows you to experience its flight from a first person perspective. A little camera attaches to the top of an actual paper airplane and you get to stand outside on a perfectly nice day with your phone strapped to your face. I suppose it’s a good compromise when your mom makes you get off the damn couch and go outside.

La La La Laddiesss!

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First Response presented an updated version of their pregnancy tests that comes with bluetooth capabilities and aims to calm the user during the test process. The user can preset if they do or do not want to be pregnant, learn more about fertility, or simply have calming music play as they hang out next to a pee soaked stick. I’m not sure how many users they tested this on at CES on the showroom floor, though. That might have ended some vacations earlier than expected.

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The Modiface App has been around for awhile, but I didn’t find out about it until this morning. Basically, it allows you to do a virtual makeover. I obviously had to try this out immediately. Apologies to my editor, this is why this article is coming in a little bit later than it should be, it’s because I made this:

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L: My coworker Jesse; R: My beautiful coworker Jessé.

Well, the brains behind this beauty app are creating a mirror that would go into stores like Sephora that lets you “try on” make up in realtime. You select the product and it virtually puts it on your reflection in the mirror. It sounds like a great time and waste saver, but totally fucks up that Christina Aguilera song, “Reflection.”

Whoa.

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The coolest gadget this year is Scio. Basically it’s like your friend who knows a lot about how much protein we should all be getting, but without any of the shame. It’s a little food scanner that tells you the caloric and nutritional makeup of food. Not only is this scanner very helpful for people with medical dietary restrictions, it’ll hopefully help us have fewer days when we ask ourselves, “Do I feel like shit because I’ve only eaten Twizzlers in the past 24 hours?”

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