Full Credits

Stats & Data

38Funny
8Die
1,544
Views
April 26, 2017
Published
Description

0% Fat. 100% Batshit.

You asked for it. Finally, a yogurt for patriots.

It’s Alex Jones’ Rage AMERICAN yogurt. No more of that Greek globalist-agenda filth filled with socialist toxins designed to turn YOU and YOUR FAMILY into SATANIST robots. We will defeat the George Soros-funded cow-slop brimming with mind-control agents. It gives BABIES BUBONIC PLAGUE! It’s made by SAVAGES, people. These people use ancient sex rituals and pray to intergalactic DEMONS to possess their cows. We won’t take it. SCUM! You are scum! We are AMERICANS! RED-BLOODED AMERICANS! OUR BLOOD IS BOILING! WE ARE GETTING DIZZY! OUR EXTREMITIES ARE SWELLING! WE HEAR A PIERCING HIGH-PITCHED RINGING!

Unlike other popular yogurts, Rage AMERICAN Yogurt doesn’t:

⦁ Allow the Clinton Foundation to steal your genetic information to sell to ISIS
⦁ Directly benefit toddler cage-fighting leagues in the back of Arby’s run by FEMA
⦁ Come from human milk used in secret devil-worship orgies by NATO officials
⦁ Secretly fund Bill Gates’ cybertronic race war
⦁ Contain EPA-developed live cultures that turn little boys into poets and PETA members
⦁ Contain hidden amounts of Obama’s cloned Muslim gene injected by the CIA
⦁ Use grotesque cow-human hybrids designed by the US Postal Service

0% Fat. 100% Batshit. WE WILL FIGHT YOU, CHOBANI!

Advertisement