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June 22, 2013

A tale of a mother who doesn't want her kids to have a pet; but if they must, at least she'll get some laughs out of it.

My kids have been nagging me to get a pet for some time, so in thinking myself clever I gave them a list of conditions. "You can get a pet if you can find one that doesn't need to go to the vet, doesn't need to be taken for a walk, doesn't cost any money to feed, and most importantly I don't want to have to pick up any poop." I had them for some time until they came home from school one day to proudly announce that they figured out a pet that would meet all of my requirements. "Worms!" they said in unison. I wasn't about to have worms in my house, but I had promised, so I gave in and said that they could get a dog under one condition. "I get to name it."

"Okay," they agreed. 

First it was the little girl down the street, "Whatcha got there?"

"Herpes," I heard my kids proudly proclaim each time someone asked about their new pet.

"Hey, where's the dog?" I often ask.

"Oh, I've got Herpes, Mom!" I hear yelled across the yard for the whole neighborhood to hear.

When we go on a trip, we usually leave the dog with the neighbors. "I'll go next door and get Herpes," declares one of my kids each time we return from a trip. 

Or, I just love the looks from strangers when I say stuff like, "Go back in the car and get Herpes!"

I may have lost the battle about getting a pet, but not a day goes by that someone in my house doesn't get Herpes and shout, "I love Herpes!"

I always tell others, "I didn't want my kids to get worms, so we got Herpes instead."